Emma Day: Cancer Patient turns Media Star!

Posted on 25 May, 2013 by Emma Day

Okay so please note that the title is meant to be a bit of fun. I have not suddenly developed a crazed ego of fame!

However, when I went into Isolation for Radiotherapy, the very last thing I expected was to be on BBC Radio Gloucestershire, BBC1 Points West News on the TV and in the Gloucestershire Echo! Yet somehow, thanks to Sarah who blogs at Mum of Three World, I have conquered all three in the space of a few days!

If you missed me on TV, you can watch it here:

If you missed me on the Radio, You can listen to me on BBC Radio Gloucestershire by clicking here.

I was live there so that’s my whole interview, but for the full version of Sarah’s interview click here and scroll to 43 minutes.

And if you want to see me in the Gloucestershire Echo – I should be in either Monday or Tuesday’s paper (which I think also goes online?).

Even more bizarre – My Twitter account @crazywithtwins has gone totally nuts with people saying nice things about me!

And #S2S2D has gone much further than I thought too. For those of you not sure what that is… It’s a whole bunch of incredible bloggers who have written blog posts to cheer me up. We are only on Day 4 of 30 and over 40 bloggers have done posts for me. If you click here and read Victorias post, you will see lots of squares at the bottom of her post – those all link to other blog posts written as part of this campaign to support me.

Rumour has it – they are trying to get #S2S2D trending on June 1st at 8pm?

Perhaps now would be a good time to remind you I’m doing Race for Life in July? If I’m going to go through with this horrendous Cancer ordeal, being kept away from my gorgeous girls for so long, it’d be good if something nice could come out of it! Just imagine – if everyone who tweeted me messages of support over the last three days had sponsored me £1 – I’d have raised thousands for Cancer Research UK by now!

Pssst!… You can sponsor me by clicking here!

I heard a rumour that they are trying to raise money for an iPad in the iodine room at Cheltenham General Hospital too. Anyone got any ideas how I can help them achieve that? Knowing how much all these bloggers and tweeters have helped lift my spirits while I was in isolation; it would be great if everyone who has to suffer this gruelling treatment could have internet access too (without having to bin their mobile phone or wait 3 months to get it back). Hmmm PR contact anyone?

I’ll be honest… I am rendered speechless and overwhelmed by the support of everybody. This is a very difficult time for me and my family and if it wasn’t for ALL OF YOU… there would be even more tears and a lot more stress. Thankyou all so much for being there for me.

FOR ANY OF YOU WHOM HAVE JUST DISCOVERED MY BLOG AND WANT TO KEEP UPDATED WITH MY PROGRESS THROUGH CANCER AND MUMMYHOOD, THERES A LITTLE BOX ON THE TOP RIGHT OF THIS PAGE WHERE YOU CAN ENTER YOU EMAIL ADDRESS AND ALL MY BLOG POSTS WILL GO STRAIGHT TO YOUR INBOX. WHAT’S MORE… IT’S FREE!

Day 1 in the Mummy Free Zone

Posted on 23 May, 2013 by Emma Day

So the wife has asked me to keep her loyal readers up to date on the general going’s on in the wonderful world of crazywithtwins while she is in isolation and officially a danger to the public. So its daddy time for my three girls and so far so good…….ish! Bunny doesn’t like it when mummy is in hospital but she seems to forget everything when i let her have a sleepover in my room. So last night i told her to choose A teddy and put it in my bed ready to go to sleep. After disappearing for about ten minutes, she finally re-appeared saying she was ready for bed. However, it would appear that A teddy had turned into many as they all missed mummy and wanted a sleepover!

So after waking up several times in the night with legs and feet and hands kicking and punching me in the head we eventually had a good nights sleep and a happy girl this morning ready for school. As for the twins, well they are coping well and seem to be enjoying playing daddy for the soft touch that he is ! They are just spending their time bullying each other in the hope that daddy will pick up the wrong one for cuddles!
As for me……well i must admit i wasn’t exactly relishing the prospect of looking after these 3 ~~demons~~angels all on my own while having to clean the whole house but i am loving being able to just relax with them and enjoy some bonding time with my girls without having to worry about going to work.
Now on to mummy, well she is comfortable (ish) and the treatment is going well. It doesn’t look like she will be discharged until Saturday at the earliest but that’s still a day earlier than expected. We all miss mummy and cant wait to be able to snuggle up as a family and have cuddles and KFC together!

will try to post another update soon, if i manage to get 5 minutes to myself!
Thank you to everyone in the blogging community for all your support at this tough time and after reading this post you are probably all gagging for Emma to come home so you don’t have to read the ramblings of a technophobe somerset barman!

Jon (the husband!)

Reasons To Be Cheerful: The isolation edition

Posted on 23 May, 2013 by Emma Day

I wanted to join in with this weeks Reasons To Be Cheerful, while I’m stuck in hospital isolation and missing my girls and my husband, because I think its important to realise there are many people worse off than me. With only a dodgy mobile connection and an old phone, I can just about get this blog to work!

Reasons to be cheerful:

1. I can officially say I’m a danger to society and I can make radioactive farts! (Well it amused me anyway!)

2. Some kind former patient left me a creme egg! Cheers!

3. I am now a FINALIST in the BiB Awards (Brilliance in Blogging) in the Inspire category. Thankyou hugely to everyone who both nominated and voted for me! It’s a huge honour.

4. I am going to be LIVE ON AIR FROM ISOLATION on BBC Radio Gloucestershire (1:15pm today) talking about my radiotherapy and the #S2S2D blog hop. Sarah from Mum of Three World will also be on air talking about it, after recording her interview with them yesterday!

5. I have a wealth of emotional support from bloggers and tweeters, as well as friends and family.

6. There is a FREE TO USE phone in isolation! And I have a weak, dodgy unreliable and slow mobile internet connection on my old phone… So I can read some of my tweets!

7. Just before coming into hospital, I found out the payment plans were complete on two of my long standing store card debts… Meaning they are paid in full and a weight off my mind!

8. I can now eat all the things I love again! No more miserable low iodine diet until my scan in 6months. Dairy, eggs, bread… I missed you! The party is in my mouth!

9. I’ve raised almost £400 so far in Race For Life sponsorship, for Cancer Research UK.

10. Things might be tough right now, I miss my girls like crazy, but I am KICKING CANCERS ASS! There are people further down the hall, less fortunate than me, I’m one of the lucky ones.

Wednesday Words: Mummy has to go away

Posted on 22 May, 2013 by Emma Day

Today I go into hospital, into the isolation unit for anywhere between 3 - 6 days for my internal radiotherapy. Then the agonising wait for the radiation to leave my body to a safe level before I can go within 2 metres of my husband and children. This could be anything up to a month for the twins, as they are so young.

I am very very closely bonded with my children, so to not be able to cuddle them, for such a long time, is soul destroying. But I don't have a choice as I need to fight my thyroid cancer.

So this week's Wednesday Words - whilst not very intelligent or technical poetry, is straight from the heart, in a simplistic style, from me to my children...

Mummy has to go away

To my dear sweet Bunny;
Mummy has to go away.
To nuke her Cancer in hospital,
So we'll have many more years to play.

You'll be at school counting,
writing, learning, singing a song.
Mummy will be counting minutes,
That will feel like hours' long.

This treatment will make Mummy better,
You will have Daddy here,
Hug our teddy when you miss me,
It'll feel as though I am near.

To my darling little twins,
You're too little to understand,
Why Mummy can't respond to "MaMa",
Change your nappy, kiss your hand.

It'll break my heart to see you,
Unable to answer your cry.
Mummy is radioactive, rendered useless,
With a tear (or many) in her eye.

You'll carry on pulling each others hair,
Learning how far you can crawl.
Yoghurt on your cheeky faces,
Covering daddy in drool.

I love you my dear sweet children,
To be parted hurts me inside,
But I won't be Cancer's victim,
I must fight, not run and hide.

© Emma Day www.crazywithtwins.com

PS. To my incredible husband, my rock and my very best friend - I will miss you also, but next week's Wednesday Words is just for you! Take care of our three gorgeous babies, I'll see you in a few days. xxx

If you want to join in with Wednesday Words, grab the badge, link up a poem, quote, lyric, quote, short story or prose and visit some of the other linkups.

Food Insanity – A new kind of eating disorder?

Posted on 20 May, 2013 by Emma Day

As I battle through the last two days of my Low-Iodine diet, I have lost myself.

I have lost myself to a full-blown food insanity.

I found myself sobbing yesterday, as I prepared my daughter some buttery toast for breakfast.

If somebody walked in front of me, right now, with a bacon and egg sandwich, I am pretty sure I would sink my teeth into their hand. (I’m not allowed the bread, or the butter, or the bacon, or the egg!)

I am finding SO MANY FOODS, hard to live without and I am literally PINING for dairy.

There are moments of weakness where I don’t think I have the willpower to continue. Moments where I think I will just tear up the kitchen and eat every piece of food I’m not allowed. A bulimic style uncontrollable binge.

But then the last 12 days are wasted and I can’t have my radiotherapy. So I stand in the kitchen and sob instead.

What’s the point in eating at all?

I’m constantly craving salt. I have never added salt to food, but I had no idea how much salt we all have in our diets. I rarely eat fast food or junk food, but… oh…What I would do right now, for a KFC or a packet of crisps!

Food is dominating my every waking thought and I feel like I’m constantly starving. No food I am allowed is satisfying me.

I just know you are sitting there reading this, thinking,
“It’s only food”,
or
“It’s only 2 weeks”

But, I can’t begin to describe how this feels.

I am having withdrawal symptoms from salt. My tongue is dry. I can’t sweat. I have a constant thirst and a constant hunger. I am irritable, short tempered, angry.

I have no desire to go near fruit or veg of any kind.

I have no desire for any kind of sweet food or chocolate or cake.

The banning of the foods I like, are affecting me more than my lack of energy, my weakness or my aching limbs.

I am thoroughly miserable.

Is this the depression part of a Hypo?

NO… I just want some real food!

Before one of you clever sods comes on here ranting that there are plenty of dairy alternatives… I’m not allowed to eat any of those either!

So there’s only one thing I can do… Make a list…

Top Ten Foods I want the Most

1. A hot bacon and egg sandwich, with thick fluffy bread and lots of butter!

2. A three-piece chicken meal from KFC with chips, salt and a Krushem shake!

3. A whole baked camembert with thickly buttered baguette.

4. Cheesy Tuna Pasta Bake, with cheese and crushed salted crisps on top!

5. Lincolnshire sausages, buttery mash and tons of gravy!

6. Frugal fried rice, with bacon fried sprouts, lots of egg and lots of soy sauce.

7. Brie, cranberry Wensleydale, cheddar, smoked salmon, prawns and crackers!

8. A nice creamy lasagna with extra cheese

9. A deep filled calzone, with goats cheese. I don’t care what else is in it – there MUST be goats cheese! Or perhaps a nice puff pastry with goats cheese and red onion marmalade!

10. A good fish pie with lots of cheesy white sauce!

Comments on this post welcome… but don’t try to be smart. I bite!

Silent Sunday

Posted on 18 May, 2013 by Emma Day

Preparing for radiotherapy: A little kindness goes a long way

Posted on 17 May, 2013 by Emma Day

I’m starting to feel weaker and pretty exhausted now I’m fully hypo.

I go into hospital for my radiotherapy and isolation, in just under 5 days.

There are more things to prepare than I thought. It’s not just about sorting a few paint splattered / bleach-ruined clothes, which can be thrown away after wearing.

The kindness of other people, has really come into play this week, and those acts of kindness, have meant SO MUCH to me.

There are 4 acts of kindness, that I want to share with you.

1. Maggies Centre

Bunny has been seeing a Cancer psychologist, who has explained my treatment to her, in a child friendly way. Our sessions with him were free at our local Maggies Cancer Centre, whom have also given us financial advice, as well as therapy sessions for the whole family. Not only has he explained my treatment to her, and why she cannot touch me, when I come out of hospital, but has also found ways for her to cope.

Together they made this…

It’s just like an advent calendar. It starts the day I come out of hospital and has 21 days on it. The three of us spent just over an hour, making it together and he even put chocolates in each day for her. She can have one a day and count down the days until she can cuddle me again. We’ve used the maximum time it will take, so that if we find the radiotherapy leaves my body quicker than expected, it will be a pleasant bonus for her, when we announce she can cuddle me again.

It means a lot to us, that Maggies centre gave us easy access to a psychologist and that he went above and beyond the call of duty, to help Bunny understand and accept, what was happening to our family.

2. A good friend

My friend and neighbour, Azaria, whom is already a busy lady, took the time out of her day yesterday, to bake me a focaccia bread with no salt, which was safe to eat on my low iodine diet. I have really been missing bread, but nearly all breads contain salt, so I had to rule them out. What with having to make my own stock for sauces and my own almond milk for breakfasts, as well as cooking all my meals fresh and from scratch, breadmaking is not something I had any energy left for.

Azaria spent time talking to me about what I liked and what I was allowed to eat. Then she knocked on my door yesterday, with two different focaccia’s (garlic and rosemary, and mushroom and red onion) – still warm from the oven! I’ll be honest – they were so nice, I scoffed half of one straight away, as it was! I had the rest of one today with baked plum tomatoes and balsamic, for lunch. It was a real treat and has been so nice to have bread!

3. My amazing mum

My mum doesn’t live near me, but we are very close emotionally. Yesterday I got a surprise parcel from her, via the postman. I had no idea what to expect. I’ll be honest, I thought it was going to be a pair of pants I’d left at her house, or something along those lines!

It was this:

She had sent me things I could take into isolation with me. Things of use, some that I needed, and some to cheer me up. Things that could be thrown away – as I am not allowed to keep anything I take in with me (as I will contaminate everything I touch, with radiation). But she had also taken the time to write me little heart shaped post it notes – which I am also going to take in with me.

The one saying “I love you”, had me instantly in tears.

I love you too Mum. Very very much.

4. Bloggers

I mentioned in a previous post, that there are a team of bloggers who have formed #EmmasArmy on Twitter. Two of them, Phil and Victoria, came up with the idea of #S2S2D – “Shoulder to Shoulder to Day” (“Day” is me by the way). They asked a while back, if any bloggers wanted to write posts for me, to cheer me up and show me support, during the time in which I am unable to touch my children (this could be up to a month!)

#EmmasArmy were swamped with responses from bloggers wanting to participate in #S2S2D. I am overwhelmed, that so many people care. Really overwhelmed. Over 40 bloggers are taking part! To the point that Victoria has had to draw up a rota of hosts to run all the blog posts. Other bloggers, who aren’t hosting, have also been invited to write posts and link them up, to what the blogosphere know as a blog-hop. (All the posts are linked up to one post – so you can hop from one to another and read them all).

These four acts of kindness…

… have made such a difference to my emotional wellbeing. I feel like I’m not going into this alone (although obviously I am in the physical form).

… show that people have thought about me, taken time to do something special for me, and all of them have made me both smile and cry happy tears simultaneously.

Thankyou all… for being you.

Linking up to:

Wednesday Words: Looking for Courage

Posted on 15 May, 2013 by Emma Day

As you all know, I am currently awaiting my radiotherapy, which starts on Wednesday 22nd May. I am currently in a state of hypothyroidism, on an awful low-iodine diet and feeling more poorly by the day.

I am frankly, exhausted, and I still have another week to go. I have no energy and I can't sleep at night. I feel a lot like I did when I was anaemic and needed a blood transfusion. I'm very weepy and cry at the silliest of things.

In summary, I feel... Weak.

In body, mind and spirit today. I just feel weak.

Whilst the quote I have chosen for #WednesdayWords, doesn't quite sum up how I feel, I guess it will sum up the test I am facing.

I need to find some courage.

“Courage isn't having the strength to go on - it is going on when you don't have strength.”

© Napoleon Bonaparte

If you want to join in with Wednesday Words, grab the badge, link up a poem, quote, lyric, quote, short story or prose and visit some of the other linkups.

I've been shortlisted in the BiB Awards (Brilliance in Blogging Awards) in the INSPIRE and WRITER categories. Please spare a few seconds to click here and vote for me if you like my writing and find it at all inspiring.

A year ago today…

Posted on 13 May, 2013 by Emma Day

A year ago today, I was in hospital being induced with the twins.

By the time of writing this, I had had my waters broken with a knitting needle, I was hooked up to an Oxytocin drip and according to the belly monitors, I was having contractions… but I couldn’t feel a thing.

I had written a letter to my unborn twins and I had kissed Bunny goodbye, as she left for school that morning – telling her I’d do my best to give birth to her sisters that day! (Which didn’t happen) I was 36 weeks pregnant, but I had been poorly since 32 weeks.

Unbeknownst to us, 32 weeks was when the twins stopped growing, due to me having undiagnosed HELLP Syndrome; which was masked by Pre-Eclampsia. In truth my kidneys and liver were failing and nobody knew. My body was poisoning itself and shutting down. I had no idea of the hell I was facing.

Induction was not smooth sailing. I was not allowed to get off the bed or have the active birth I had wanted. When the induced contractions kicked in, it went downhill from there. 3 failed canulas, 3 failed epidurals, not allowed to move. Told to stop using the epidural half an hour before pushing, unable to push them down the birth canal. The roughest doctor in the history of mankind performing a double forceps delivery – the babies 35 minutes apart, followed by so much agony from my failing liver, my constant vomitting and haemorrhaging, that I couldn’t hold my own babies.

A day later, I was seriously ill, receiving intensive care in the high dependency unit (they couldn’t move me to intensive care, as it meant seperation from the twins and potential damage to my mental health).

But hey – the baby part wasn’t until the 14th – I had a 16 hour labour first!

Anyway, enough with the gore. You can read my birth story if you want more gore.

This time last year, I still looked like this…

WOW That’s a fat momma!

I was excited about my incredible future as a mummy to twins, as well as Bunny. I was excited about not feeling ill anymore (who knew I had Cancer all along?!)

My twins and I are very lucky to be alive. HELLP Syndrome kills 1 in 4 mothers who have it, and a lot of babies.

I am blessed with three amazing daughters. Bunny turned six, just nine days ago. The twins will be a whole year old tomorrow. I am so very proud of all of them. I am honoured to be their mummy.

Bunny, born May 4th at 01:11am

May 14th – My beautiful twins were born at 6:22am & 6:57am

Being pregnant with them feels like a lifetime ago, yet at the same time, how have they grown so fast?

The Fresh Week Pledge

Posted on 10 May, 2013 by Emma Day

I have made a pledge. I have pledged to eat fresh, unprocessed food from 13th May – 19th May 2013. Well – thanks to my Cancer, I have very little choice – but more about that further down this page…

What is Fresh Week?
Fresh week is the project of Tefal, which aims to encourage families to ditch the processed garbage full of additives, in favour of cooking healthy wholesome meals. To be honest, we don’t eat a great deal of processed food anyway. I’m not really a chicken nugget mum. I guess the processed foods we mostly use are jars/packets of sauces, instant gravy and stock and things like that. However, I don’t use vegetables anywhere near as much as I should!

How you can pledge and WIN:
If you want to pledge to join in with Fresh Week – you could get the chance to WIN a Tefal Fresh Express and a veg box from Riverford Foods. You can pledge by visiting the Fresh Week Website. Tefal will also be giving spot prizes to people using the #FreshWeek hashtag on Twitter. As a Tefal Innovation Panellist, I can assure you these are awesome prizes – I’d be lost without mine this week!

A selection of the things we got in our Riverfood Organic Veg Box

Fresh Week VS Cancer
Fresh week is not really optional for me. If you read my posts about my radiotherapy and the fact I have to go onto a low iodine diet for two weeks, in preparation for my radiotherapy, you’ll know I cannot eat foods containing high levels of Iodine. That mostly means, I can’t eat anything containing dairy, soya, salt, fish or red dye. It also rules out pretty much ALL processed foods due to salt content. I had to start this diet on 8th May. I’ll be honest. I’m really struggling with it. To the point that yesterday I ate next to nothing and had a good exhausted sob at the end of the day instead.

So the Fresh Week Challenge runs very literal to me.

Yesterday I made my own chicken stock, so that I may make a casserole today.

Today I made my own Almond milk, so that I can eat the one cereal I found, without salt.

I made a Fresh Fruit Salad too.

And Bolognese sauce from scratch.

My Fresh Express Max has been a real help. It chopped the onions & carrots for my bolognese sauce in no time.

Yesterday Bunny had a pizza & craft party with her friends to celebrate her 6th Birthday and I hate grating cheese, so it took literally a few seconds to grate two bowls of cheese in my Fresh Express, for that too.

Using the Tefal Fresh Express Max!

My low iodine diet and the fact I’ve had to come off my thyroxine, mean that I’m having to plan ahead with what I might cook next week, when I will be very weak.

So… With the help of my Fresh Express Max (and my Actifry)… I am home-making my dairy free, egg free, salt free, fish free…

Spaghetti Bolognese
Chilli Con Carne with mashed potato (without the kidney beans)
Chicken Korma with potatoes
Beef casserole
Chicken, Avocado & tomato wraps (hopefully)
Chips (in the Actifry)
Chicken with parmentiers, veg, garlic and a balsamic vinegar salad
Roast dinner (so I can have the carcass to make more stock!)

Perhaps a cottage pie, if I can make it work.

As snacks -
Baked apples with raisins
Fruit Salad
Meringues with red berries (I’m allowed egg whites)

As iodine is essential as part of a normal persons diet, I will have to make seperate ones for Hubs and Bunny, so that I don’t deprive them of iodine.

Some of what we'll be making in Fresh Week... Fruit Salad, Parmentiers with chicken, yellow peppers & tomato, Pasta with mushrooms, chicken and green beans!

Some of what we’ll be making in Fresh Week…
Fruit Salad,
Parmentiers with chicken, yellow peppers & tomato,
Bolognese Sause,
Pasta with mushrooms, chicken and green beans!

I am finding the Fresh Week Challenge fairly easy.
I am finding the Cancer diet, very hard.

Disclaimer: I have been given a Fresh Express Max and a Riverford Veg box by Tefal to help me fulfil my pledge. All words, opinions and experiences are entirely my own.