I’ve decided to become a social recluse!

This decision came a few days ago when I involuntarily made close aquaintance with a fence and the concrete in the carpark outside my house! I really wouldnt advise this kind of friendship, especially not for pregnant women!

I was on my way out to get a haircut, food shopping and pick up some plants, so I could make hubby do some gardening. Just as Bunny was getting in the car, I noticed a rather large scrape on the front of my car. I bent down to get a closer look and felt myself tipping way off balance. As I could feel myself falling I did that almost-running thing you do when you think you can stop yourself from falling. I am about 4 feet from the fence and have it in my head that I can use the fence to steady myself. As i begin to tip vertically, my legs are kicking up behind me as fast as I can, my head and left hand plough full force into the fence and my knees into the concrete. I rebound off the fence and begin rolling in desperate attempt not to land on my baby-belly. With a partial roll on the side of my belly I land heavily on my back and clutching my arm in pain. I can’t breathe. I pick up my phone and try to dial out. It comes up with an instruction page. I try again, and again, but the keypad wont come up. I’m laying on the concrete in a carpark in agony and my bastard phone wont work.

I shout to Bunny that she needs to go and get Daddy quickly and to my relief, she runs without question (normally everything leads to a question), down the alleyway to the front door. By this time I am aware that some rather horrendous noises are escaping me – somewhere between a moan, a scream, someone with severe constipation and a cry. Hubby comes down the path and starts shouting at me – something about shoes. I really didnt understand why he was banging on about shoes when I was in agony and crying and couldnt get up. I wasnt even sure what hurt the most – everything hurt! He tried to get me up and a crippling pain shot through the top of my back, my back instantly went into spasm and I can honestly say that it was more painful than labour. It was paralysing and the spasms were flicking between the top and bottom of my back. A fleeting thought went through me that perhaps him trying to get me up might do more damage than good and I was aware that by this point, I was screaming very loudly. After what seemed like ages, I was on my feet, clutching Hubby and crying my eyes out. He moved me to the car and went off to get some baby wipes. At the time I could see that his thought processes seemed rather ludicrous and nonsensical but I couldnt speak and to be fair I had probably panicked the poor man; but really… baby wipes???

As I sat there shaking and crying and not knowing which injury was worse, all I could think was “why arent the babies moving?”. I knew Hubby would think I was over-reacting as he hadnt seen how bad the fall was, so I got him to phone the antenatal unit for advice. Ten minutes later I was sitting in a chair in Cheltenham General Hospital’s maternity unit sobbing to a midwife, who made a snap decision to transfer me to Gloucester Royal Hospital as my blood pressure was sky high. She told me that I was in a worse state than they expected, they had no doctor and A&E werent allowed to touch me as I was carrying twins. Another ten mins and I was on a bed in Gloucester Royal Delivery suite being prodded and poked. They couldnt work out which way the babies were positioned to get both heartbeats on a tracer so I had to have a scan. I was panicking again as she seemed to take ages to find the second babies heart.

Thankfully both babies are made of hardier stuff than me, and both were doing fine after my fall. I went home and vowed never to leave the house again. My forehead had two massive swollen lumps and bloody grazes, which no doctor had looked at and my eye had developed a twitch every few minutes. Both knees and my left hand were badly grazed and combined with my SPD (Symphis Pubis Dysfunction) made it even more difficult to walk. My right shoulder and elbow were also hurting and I couldnt move my arm very far. I had regular spasms in my back that felt a bit like Braxton hicks but more regular. I spent the next few days on the sofa with a headache and feeling sick (one evening of projectile vommiting too) and I am now rather scared of leaving the house!

Today I still have the lumps and grazes on my head and the twitch in my eye. My arm and knees are still sore but I feel like I’m finally starting to recover. I only have one more day in Couch Potato Land as I have my last road trip before labour planned for tomorrow! I’m going down to Dorset to visit my mum and have lunch with my grandad. Then on Saturday I have my baby shower to look forward to, which my wonderful friend Sarah and my Mum have arranged for me. I’m really looking forward to seeing all my friends. But for now… Its back to the sofa!

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