Some of you already know I’ve been worried about a large lump that recently appeared on my neck. It felt uncomfortable to swallow, so I saw my doctor on Monday. The fact I have no other symptoms set alarm bells ringing for me after I did the inevitable googling.

Today I went to hospital to see an ENT specialist. He felt my neck and noted that my coughing after being touched, showed that the lump is pressing on my voice box. The lump is on my thyroid. The next step was an ultrasound, but I had to go it alone as Jonny had to get to work. The scan showed numerous nodules on the left side of my thyroid, but the right side was completely normal.

The doctor then performed a Fine Needle Aspiration (FNA) where a very large needle was inserted into my neck, into the thyroid nodule to take a sample. It was quite painful, I couldn’t swallow and the needle was in for a good few minutes, as they were struggling to penetrate the mass. Eventually they did and they put the slides straight under the microscope. I was sent in to the consultant who sat me down and explained the results.

Whilst they couldn’t be 100% sure from the cytology of my FNA sample, they suspect Papillary Thyroid Carcinoma. To you and me… that’s Tumours. Cancer. We are all hoping and praying that it’s benign (not growing). Most thyroid cancers are benign, but the rogue 5% that are malignant are very sinister. The only way to find out is to remove half of my thyroid. If it turns out to be malignant, radiotherapy will follow.

You all know I’ve beaten Cancer before, but that doesn’t make it any less terrifying. A Macmillan nurse was waiting outside the door for me, but it hadn’t sunk in. It still hasn’t really. I keep switching from feeling like I’m just being silly, and all will be fine, to feeling choked up as though I’m harbouring some sort of dark creature inside my body.

I’d like to thank those of you who have already messaged me kind words of support and apologise in advance if sometimes I’m lost for words. I need to be strong and get through this, for my beautiful children and my wonderful husband. I’ve always been a fighter when it comes to illness and I don’t intend to stop fighting.

  1. tory says:

    I can’t think of anything remotely helpful to say other than I think you are so brave to share your journey and I’m sending you positive vibes. X

  2. Rachelradiostar says:

    Aww I’ve followed you on twitter for a while and I’m so saddened by this post. Hoping that it isn’t that 5% . Sending love and healing thoughts your way x I can only imagine what you are going through.

  3. Jenny says:

    I am so sorry to hear this news. I am praying for the very best result for you and your family and that in the meanwhile you can have some peace and lots of love around you. x

  4. Krystal says:

    I’m sorry, I know how scary this is. My husband went through the same experience 3 years ago. He started having trouble swallowing and pain when he turned his head but no other symptoms. The Dr felt a mass on his thyroid and did an ultrasound on the spot. After a referral to a specialist and a FNB (which he absolutely freaked out during, not good when you have a needle going into your throat) they couldn’t tell if it was cancerous or not, just that the biopsy came up with atypical cells. He had the surgery to remove his entire thyroid and they found that the mass was actually much bigger than thought, it had started to wrap around his windpipe. Thankfully though the biopsy from the surgery came up benign. He has to be on thyroid medication for the rest of his life now and have his levels monitored every few months but that has become easy to deal with. I hope you get the same results as my husband, and it ends up being benign.

  5. Actually Mummy... says:

    Oh no! Such stressful news. As others have said, I hope it turns out to be benign. I wasn’t aware that malignant thyroid cancer had a poor outcome – my Dad had it and was told the only reason they couldn’t completely cure him was that he’d waited too long to go in and be checked. He’d had obvious multiple lumps for months before he did anything about it. It sounds like you’ve caught it much earlier. Fingers crossed and lots of hugs x
    Actually Mummy… recently posted..Shopping lists: Wot so Funee?My Profile

  6. Sharon Powell says:

    Oh no! I really have no words as I can only imagine what you must be going through. I really hope it’s not the c word after all you’ve been through lately. Take care (hugs) xxx

  7. S Bourne says:

    Sending all the positive vibes I can & much hope that you are the 95%. Its a cruel world when you can be affected twice by cancer x

  8. Sarah says:

    Oh my goodness, so sorry to hear that. Life is dealing you some crappy cards. Its no wonder you sometimes feel lost for words. That’s a really big deal. Fair play to you for staying strong and standing up to it. Wishing you and your family all the best. X

  9. J jagger says:

    I dont know the right words to say , the stress, worry , and emotions you will be going through…i cannot imagine.Hope it is benign xxxx

  10. Twinmummyjolene says:

    Oh Hun, life is really throwing things at you. Am so sorry to hear this but am going to keep thinking positive for you that its benign. Give your gorgeous kids huge cuddles as they will give you more strength then anything xx

  11. Donna Lawton says:

    I know you don’t know me, and I know I barely comment but I just wanted to send you a hug across cyberspace. I too have a lump on my neck but have been too scared to go to the Doctor. I shall go on Monday. Sending you all the best wishes in the world. Hugs, Donna x

  12. Emma says:

    Huge positive thoughts that it turns out to be benign and you can deal with it as quickly as possible. So sorry you are going through this. Wishing you lots of strength, carry on with that fantastic positive attitude of yours! πŸ™‚ xx
    Emma recently posted..Where the Heart is…My Profile

  13. Amy says:

    I’m really sorry to hear this news, I know how it feels to be part of a family going through this. but you will get through this, you Mums are incredible, amazing and real superheros! You know it won’t be easy but with all the love and support around you, you Will get through it.

    lots of happy thoughts and love


  14. Coombemill says:

    I have just picked up on this one and had no idea. How worrying for you and of course you are going to go through the whole spectrum of emotions. So hoping it is the straight forward benign option that sounds most probable. Hugs to you my lovely and keep us posted.
    Coombemill recently posted..Silent Sunday / Project 52My Profile

  15. Sonia Constant says:

    I am so sorry to hear this Hun and I really hope, with every teeny tiny bone in my body that it doesn’t grow anymore and can be removed. I can’t believe you’ve beaten cancer before you really are a fighter.

    Keep smiling & stay positive, you are an inspiration To us all xxx

  16. purplecrazymum says:

    I am so, so sorry to read this =[ I really hope it is benign. I cant imagine how you are feeling or that anything anyone could say would make you feel any better but I hope the support from everyone helps a little xx
    purplecrazymum recently posted..A quiet weekMy Profile

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