You may or may not have noticed, I’ve gone quiet about my Cancer since meeting my Oncologist for the first time, just over a week ago. Well that is because I found out my radiotherapy will be much more difficult than I first thought.
The tumour found in the left side of my thyroid measured 6cm across and the Cancer went right the way to the edges. It is beleived I have been carrying this malignant Cancer for several years and there is a chance it may have reached the blood vessels and left some Cancer cells behind after my surgery.
This means I must have a particularly high dose of internal radiotherapy. Double the normal dose for my type of Cancer.
This means approximately 5 days in an isolation unit, where I am not allowed visitors, and anything I take into hospital must be thrown away. Anything I touch after swallowing the radioactive iodine, will become contaminated by my sweat, and become radioactive. I will be scanned numerous times by a geiger counter, until I am safe to be discharged from hospital.
That’s when the worst bit comes…
For somewhere between 10 – 16 days, I will not be allowed within 1-2 (preferably 3) metres of my husband or Bunny (or any other human being). So no touching, no hugs, no kisses. This is because my body will still be radioactive and pose a danger to the health of anyone who comes close to me. My radiologist said I will be “like an Xray machine we cannot turn off”. …
But the worst part…
I cannot go within 1-2 metres of the twins for somewhere between 21-28 days. That’s on top of my 5 days in isolation.
So I can’t hold or kiss or feed of comfort my own babies for around a month.
I am heartbroken.
I am distraught.
I have spent many days crying as I was not prepared for this and I don’t know how to deal with it. Bunny and I are seeing a Cancer psychologist, but I’m not sure how much he can help me with not being able to kiss my children. I live and breathe my children. They are my entire world.