Wednesday Words

Today I go into hospital, into the isolation unit for anywhere between 3 - 6 days for my internal radiotherapy. Then the agonising wait for the radiation to leave my body to a safe level before I can go within 2 metres of my husband and children. This could be anything up to a month for the twins, as they are so young.

I am very very closely bonded with my children, so to not be able to cuddle them, for such a long time, is soul destroying. But I don't have a choice as I need to fight my thyroid cancer.

So this week's Wednesday Words - whilst not very intelligent or technical poetry, is straight from the heart, in a simplistic style, from me to my children...

Mummy has to go away

To my dear sweet Bunny;
Mummy has to go away.
To nuke her Cancer in hospital,
So we'll have many more years to play.

You'll be at school counting,
writing, learning, singing a song.
Mummy will be counting minutes,
That will feel like hours' long.

This treatment will make Mummy better,
You will have Daddy here,
Hug our teddy when you miss me,
It'll feel as though I am near.

To my darling little twins,
You're too little to understand,
Why Mummy can't respond to "MaMa",
Change your nappy, kiss your hand.

It'll break my heart to see you,
Unable to answer your cry.
Mummy is radioactive, rendered useless,
With a tear (or many) in her eye.

You'll carry on pulling each others hair,
Learning how far you can crawl.
Yoghurt on your cheeky faces,
Covering daddy in drool.

I love you my dear sweet children,
To be parted hurts me inside,
But I won't be Cancer's victim,
I must fight, not run and hide.

Ā© Emma Day Ā

PS. To my incredible husband, my rock and my very best friend - I will miss you also, but next week's Wednesday Words is just for you! šŸ˜‰ Take care of our three gorgeous babies, I'll see you in a few days. xxx

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Wednesday Words

  1. Sarah & Stuart says:

    So very heart-felt and touching. Of course no words can assist you with your fight, but rest assured the thoughts of so many are with you and your family today and everyone is backing you to get through this. We don’t know you, but from your blog alone it’s clear you’re a wonderful, strong wife and mother. Best of luck Emma!

  2. Julie early says:

    Oh my lovely girl you can do this,you are so very brave and courageous….I will be thinking of you every day and praying for the time you can cuddle your lovely babies ….stay strong girl you can do it xxxxxx

  3. Alexa says:

    Very moved to read your poignant poem, and will be thinking of you, and wishing you continued courage and energy for the weeks ahead … Warm regards, alexa

  4. Helen Braid says:

    Beautiful words Emma – and what a heartbreaking wait. You are such a strong lady – you are going to give your children and hubby the biggest hug ever when this is all over!! Love to you x
    Helen Braid recently posted..One Year AgoMy Profile

  5. oneo ff ordinary says:

    In November 2011 I spent 10 days in hospital having a grapefruit sized tumour removed. I was lucky it was benign although with a high chance of regrowth. My boys were 3 and just turned 1, I was still breastfeeding my littlest. It broke my heart. Hardest was the following 3 months when I was home but couldn’t lift or cuddle them because of the 10cm healing incision point and the fact that 50% of my small intestines were removed. Watching them go to someone else to be comforted was so painful.

    I’m still here, awaiting the results of my 18 months post surgery scan. The boys don’t remember me being gone, but I don’t think I’ll ever stop worrying about being apart from them in future.

    Sending you massive hugs and all my best wishes.


  6. Claire says:

    Thinking of you as you have to leave the kids. I have one one year old and know it would be harder to leave her as I couldn’t explain so well to her.

    Wishing you all the best for the treatment and I know the kids will be fine in good hands…but I know they will be even happier once they are all back in their mother’ arms.


    PS. We are Butterfly Buddies: I have the same ones on my header and lots of pics too! šŸ™‚
    Claire recently posted..Mark Warner Active Family Week 3: Get SportyMy Profile

  7. Judith says:

    I hate being apart from my children, I can’t imagine having to be separated for so long. I hope that in the years to come your children can read this poem and look back on that time as actually quite short in the scheme of things, and that they will feel grateful that you did it and could spend many many more years with them as a result. x
    Judith recently posted..Ode to WeetabixMy Profile

  8. Mummy Whisperer says:

    This is such a terribly awful thing to have to do.
    BUT I’m so chuffed to hear the fight in your voice. KEEP IT going – and if you ever get down, tell us and we will kick it back into you.
    I’m honoured to be included in the fresh five with you for the Tots100 this week. If there is anything I can do to help over the next month, you can always find me on twitter – just a tweet away – you never know, I’m pretty good in a bad situation sometimes.

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