I found a quote today, author unknown, that says exactly what I feel at the moment.

Life is full of choices, but sometimes, things are bigger than us; they are out of our control.

People often tell me I'm brave, but I'm not.

If you are unfortunate enough to get Cancer, it's not a choice. Being brave isn't a choice. You just get on with it. If you aren't strong, then the only alternative really is to lay down and die. That's not a choice. Cancer is not a choice. Losing your job, for no reason, having done nothing wrong, is not a choice.

We cannot control whether or not we are able to conceive, if our children are born healthy or what happens to our own health, the list of things beyond human control goes on. From studying Psychology A-level I learnt that most human behaviours boil down to the levels of control, that people have over aspects of their life.

My amazing mum is having surgery today. She's having a lump, similar to mine, removed from her thyroid. She will have the same wait as I had, back in January, to find out if it's benign or malignant. It is suspected to be the exact same Cancer as I have. She is probably in theatre having it removed, as I write this. She is constantly in my thoughts today. I have absolutely no control over how her surgery goes, or the outcome of her results, but I need to be strong and supportive, to help her through it.

Likewise, my dad and I are also awaiting Cancer results - whether or not both of our radiotherapy treatments have worked. We should find out just before Christmas. So for those religious readers of mine, who kindly like to pray for my health, please send a little prayer to my mum and dad too. And thank you for your support.

So when we have the opportunity to be in control of lives, it's so very important to stay strong. It's not about bravery, it's about survival.

People who are close to me on twitter, may well know, that I have found strength a difficulty over the last few weeks, but I am working on it.

"I cannot stress enough how important is it to be independent and strong. So many things are out of your control, and always will be." - author unknown


Much love to my regular bloggers who join in with Wednesday Words - please share the love and leave each of them a comment. It's what makes these linkies work. You can find their #WednesdayWords posts for this week, below. Newbies always welcome.


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  1. Maddy @writingbubble says:

    I really hope that you and all your family get good news soon, Emma. I understand the distinction you make between bravery and survival but I think, from the outside, your ability to stay strong – even (perhaps especially) when you struggle with it – seems remarkably brave. You are right that many things are out of your control but your ability to carry on, to still be a great mum to your kids and a support to the rest of your family is something that you are controlling every day. And admirably!
    Maddy @writingbubble recently posted..captain of my soulMy Profile

  2. MummyTries says:

    I’ve said it before Emma, I have nothing but respect for your determination to kick cancer’s arse.

    I was planning on linking up a poem today, but after reading your post don’t feel it’s appropriate. So I’ve added an old post instead, which is rather fitting.

    Really hope things went well for your Mum xx
    MummyTries recently posted..Control Your Thoughts #WednesdayWordsMy Profile

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