SO MANY PEOPLE have mentioned those adverts lately. Those hideously annoying and judgemental adverts, which show a heavily airbrushed size 6 model in a bikini, with big boobs and slim muscular abs headed by the words “Is your body bikini ready?”

Kudos to those women, I advise you to appreciate that body while you have it. If you’ve got it flaunt it. But you know what? For brands to insinuate that anyone who doesn’t have the same body shouldn’t wear a bikini… is just plain wrong. I’m not about to buy diet pills, drink ghastly fat free milkshakes or take on some insane exercise regime, in order to look more like a photoshopped poster girl.

I’m a fairly slim lady. I’m a size 10 with small boobs, a bit of a paunchy baby belly with a few tiger stripes. I have surgical scars on belly from an ectopic pregnancy and scars on my neck and chest from Cancer surgeries. I haven’t seen my abs since 2011, where I appear to have accidentally left them in Ayia Napa, along with my maiden name and my ability to drink like a fish.

Is my body bikini ready?

Hell yes! I own a bikini, I know how to put it on… therefore my body is bikini ready! Single boys… if the sight of a real woman offends you… then it’s a good job I’m married, because you probably couldn’t handle me anyway! If you don’t like what you see, then avert your eyes, because this body likes to see the sun and it’s coming out of hiding!

Am I going to stick to a one-piece and cover up my thighs with a sheet-sized sarong?
Am I going to put makeup on my scars to hide them?
Am I going to slink out of the pool and hurriedly hide behind a towel in case someone witnesses my bum wobbling?

No I am not.


bikini ready


My scars show I’m a survivor.
My stretch marks show I brought life into the world.
Any excess body fat or cellulite I may have shows that I live my life the way I want to.
My lack of abs show I enjoy food more than the treadmill.
My lack of boobs, show I wasn’t blessed with that type of figure.

But I am a healthy grown woman, who has accepted her body for what it is and embraced it’s flaws with confidence.

If I want to wear a bikini, I damn well will and if you are a woman (or indeed man if wearing bikini’s is your thing) who wants to wear a bikini, then shame those subway posters and let it all hang out. Whether you are a size 2 or 22, your body is bikini ready if when you say it is! Life is too short to worry what other people think. Dress how YOU want to at the beach or by the poolside on holiday. Go the whole hog and hit the nudist beach if you want.

Love yourself and be happy!

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