A lot has happened in the last few months, to put it mildly. A lot of very difficult and life changing things. And anyone who reads this blog regularly, will have noticed I’ve gone from posting four times a week, to complete radio silence.
The biggest and most dramatic change, is that my husband and I separated a few months ago, after four years of marriage. Out of respect for him, I will not go into the reasons behind our separation, but I want people to know it wasn’t a decision we took lightly. It’s the hardest thing either of us have had to do, but it’s for the best. Mutual friends of ours have taken it upon themselves to speculate and accuse one or both of us of cheating, but they couldn’t be more wrong. Many mutual friends have taken sides and formed such diverse opinions, knowing nothing about the truth, that I have lost many of them.
Jon and I hope to raise our children as a team and have been working on building a friendship. We hope to be there for each other and bring up our children in a stable and happy environment. Jon has moved to another county and the children are living with me, with regular time with him on the agenda.
The house I live in, has been bought by developers who want to knock it down and build more houses. So just ten days before Christmas I was served with court papers for eviction. I have a potential house lined up, but it means moving away from the lovely little village we now call home. The new house also needs completely redecorating and needs carpeting throughout, the costs of which, seem impossible right now. On a more practical level, the thought of packing up an entire house, whilst my children are so naughty and whilst I’m suffering from poor health and a great deal of emotional stress (I’ll explain at in my next post), all by myself, is very difficult to cope with.
After Jon and I split up and we were sure that that our marriage had ended, I met someone and almost had a relationship with him. We were seeing each other for a few months but it never quite got as far as boyfriend/girlfriend mode.
If I’m completely honest, it feels like the world is crashing down on me. I’m weak and tired and just cannot stop crying.
To add insult to injury, my car died, so I have no way of getting anywhere. My mum is recovering from major surgery and I can’t even visit her. I also had to take temporary leave from my job, whilst I try to cope with everything that is happening.
I’m trapped and alone and I can’t see the light.