12 weeks pregnant: Some hope and some relaxation

I’m currently 17 weeks pregnant, but this is the post I wrote when I was 12 weeks pregnant. I am no longer with (or in contact with) SD, but I wanted to share the whole of my pregnancy journey, so I have left it as written at the time and you can follow my story…

12 weeks pregnant…

I’ve reached that milestone so fast. I remember when I was pregnant with the twins, being desperate to reach the 12 week “safe zone” where you get your dating scan and your risk of miscarriage decreases. With Bunny I only had a two week wait as I didn’t find out I was pregnant until I was 10 weeks. This time, I found out at four weeks and the time has just flown by in a flurry of emotion, stress and many tears.

The dating scan isn’t for another week. We had to postpone the original scan, because SD couldn’t make it. HE wants to be there. We are getting on well again and he’s been talking about us getting back together. I just need to be patient. He says HE is going through a lot (wonder if he could handle a day in my shoes?!).

I feel like the hormones are starting to settle down. I’ve still got the nausea, I’m still permanently knackered but I’ve only shed a few tears in the last five days and not had a full on sobfest for about six.

I spent a night at a spa last night with Joy (blogs as Pinkoddy). It was lovely to have some girly time relaxing and I had a wonderful back neck and shoulder massage from the beautician. I might only be 12 weeks pregnant but I swear, I felt the baby moving. I felt it move throughout my massage. I’ve never felt a baby move before 16 weeks before, but they say some people can feel it much earlier if they’ve had babies before… And I definitely felt it. There’s no mistaking that feeling.

I watched Joy on the treadmill and we went for a swim, before a three course Christmas meal in the restaurant. I slept like a baby, tired, full and completely relaxed.

Christmas is 3 days away, but I’m not ready. I’m tired, there’s so much to do, and in the meantime I have to get the paperwork and meetings sorted, ahead of finding out if I’ve got my new house or not. I hope I get approved quickly, I don’t like the suspense and the impending homelessness if I get don’t get approved.

It’s going to be a long week and Christmas will be difficult, as I’m no longer with the girls’ dad, I’m not seeing any family, and I have no plans. Obviously the whole Christmas with SD thing isn’t happening now. I really hope I can salvage Christmas so my children can have a good time.