For readers who missed the announcement, I’m currently 14 weeks pregnant, but I wrote blog posts throughout my pregnancy – these are being published now – to share my story. This is the post I wrote when I was 4 weeks pregnant…
I haven’t known him long; a matter of weeks. I hadn’t been single long when I met him and I certainly didn’t plan on any of this. I guess I needed an escape from my marriage. We see each other a lot and message all the time. But still… it’s only been a few weeks.
I am only three days late, but I’ve been worrying for those three days. He thinks I’m mad for doing a pregnancy test so soon, but my instincts are telling me that I already know the result.
I paid £1.99 for a test in Wilkinsons. What’s the point in paying over the odds for something you are just going to pee on and then put in the bin? I went to M&S and took the test in the toilet. Half the toilets were out of order, only two were working, there was a queue of impatient people waiting, but I needed to know the answer, so I took the test.
Two lines lit up straight away. What… not even a wait? Shouldn’t the line be feint or something?
I am actually pregnant.
4 weeks pregnant!
Despite my gut instincts I still wasn’t really expecting two lines on the test strip.
How did this happen?
Okay that was a rhetorical question – I’m not really about to ask anybody how it happened, I think I’m old enough to work that one out for myself.
How is he going to react? Is he going to end us? Is he going to demand I get an abortion? Is he going to want to keep it? Wait… what do I even want? How do I feel about it? My heart is racing, I feel sick and dizzy, but feeling-wise… I’ve got no idea how I feel.
There was only one thing for it, so I went to work and showed him the test.
He didn’t freak out. I don’t think he really knew what to do, but he didn’t freak out.