Why am I giving up breastfeeding? Because I want to!
- It’s time consuming, it means I get to bed late and I get less sleep.
- I don’t like the feel of their teeth on my skin.
- They throw it up and demand a bottle after anyway.
- They have lost interest – they would rather smile at me than feed.
- They are more content after a bottle than they are after a breastfeed.
Am I happy with my decision?
Well I WAS! I was planning to give up today.
I am really f***ing proud of myself for breastfeeding TWINS for five whole months. Exclusively for the first three. I only managed five weeks with my oldest daughter.
I breastfed despite haemorrhaging during childbirth and losing so much blood I was really weak and only had an HB of 7. I breastfed whilst battling HELLP Syndrome, unsure of whether I’d even live to tell the tale. I was pumped full of drugs and got about half an hours sleep every six hours for the best part of a week. But I still breastfed whenever I was physically strong enough to hold them. If that isn’t determination, then I don’t know what is.
I even expressed in between…
I was proud of myself.
Until I read a blog post today and people’s comments on it. One of those campaigning for more bullying “support” for breastfeeding. People trying to take away the freedom of choice because they think EVERYONE should breastfeed until their kids are in pre-school no doubt. Criticising those who don’t breastfeed (or don’t breastfeed for long enough). Criticising people like me, for giving up breastfeeding after 5 months. What about those people for whom breastfeeding isn’t an option (for example really prem babies in NICU). Or people who physically can’t. What about people who just don’t want to? Just because somebody isn’t breastfeeding – doesn’t mean they are ill-informed, uneducated, nervous about feeding in public or lacking support. Sometimes people can’t or simply don’t want to.
Every form of breastfeeding “support” I have ever come across is more like bullying than support. They feed you lies like:
“You can’t ever run out of milk – it’s supply and demand”. Bullshit. I’ve been there before! “Your milk will always satisfy your baby even if the consistency changes”. Bullshit. I’ve been there before too!
These statements are carefully constructed to make mums feel inferior and to make the elite breastfeeders feel like supermum.
It’s encouragement and empathy people need. Not harassment, judging or enforcement. Why do people have to judge each other all the time?
I love breastfeeding. I loved every second of it with the twins. I loved being that close to them. I loved that grateful look in their eyes. But I don’t feel it is right for us anymore.
I am devastated at the thought that I will never ever be able to breastfeed again. That cuts me up. But it’s not the right choice for my little family anymore. It’s run it’s course for me.
I didn’t feel guilty about my decision to stop. I was happy with my choices and proud of myself for coming this far. But thanks to the blogger who has made me cry today, I now feel guilty. I feel guilty for giving up breastfeeding. I feel that I am being selfish, even though I know what works best for my babies and they just aren’t interested in breast milk anymore. Their eyes light up and they get excited when they see a bottle. Nobody knows my babies like me. Nobody knows me, like me. Nobody else has the right to put me down for my choices. So why do I feel so crap after reading one persons campaign?!
I’d like to point out (after a vicious comment on this post earlier), I would never discourage breastfeeding. Breastmilk is proven to be good for babies, but ultimately the mothers happiness is also a vital part of the babies wellbeing as babies can pick up on stress and unhappiness. I would always support people who choose to breastfeed. My own reasons for giving up breastfeeding were not taken lightly.
If you would like support with breastfeeding, and are not able to get to a midwife, health visitor, or other medical professional, here is a link to the NHS breastfeeding support page which contains numerous links to other breastfeeding support networks and professionals.
Interestingly too I would like to include a link to The Breastfeeding Network’s list of “Drugs in Breastmilk” Factsheets. As you will know, when I had HELLP Syndrome, I was on a concoction of drugs, whilst breastfeeding, which the doctors assured me were safe. This is a comprehensive list of which drugs are safe and which are not safe to use during breastfeeding.
For mothers bottle feeding, please read this excellent post by The Mother Geek… Formula Feeding Does Not Equal Failure.
xxx
That makes me so angry too! You’re right, it is bullying- and it’s wrong. You’ve not come to this decision lightly and you’ve weighed up the options, you have nothing to feel guilty about.
You’ve done fantastic!
You are right, I HAVE weighed up the options. I’ve been thinking about this decision for a long time and it was not an easy one to make. Thankyou xx
Good luck giving up and you’ve done amazingly to feed two babies. Hard enough with just one! I’m am completely in favour of breast feeding but would never judge anyone else’s decision to breastfeed or not. Lovely pics by the way. x
allotmentmum recently posted..Making the living room liveable
Thankyou. I too think it is good to breastfeed – but only if you can and you want to. I tried to post non-nipple pics lol. xx
WOW! You are AMAZING!
I am in awe that you breast fed twins at all, but throw into the mix your poorly start and having an older child…. You ARE supermum!!
Be proud of your Breastfeeding journey! Your babies are amazing, as are you! Remember breasfeeding is a CHOICE. You choose to start and you choose when to stop. Your family. Nobody else. Not the Breastfeeding police and not the strangers chucking in their two pennies worth (myself included lol)! ps thanksfor including my link xxxx
You are most welcome. I’m glad you tweeted it to me and I hope it helps ease the guilt feelings from other mums who either choose to bottle feed, or end up bottle feeding for other reasons. Thankyou for the comment and lovely compliments too. My commenters are gradually starting to make me feel better. You are so right… it is MY choice and I did breastfeed for quite a long time. xxx
Do not listen to them! Yes its lovely to breastfeed, benefits blah blah but at the end of the day this is your discussion and you be happy about it.
Far too many people are opinionated on the subject and I’m sure half don’t have twins to contend with.
You go girl, you be bloody proud that a) you did it in the first place considering the other complications that went with it b) you did it c) you gave your babies the best start you did it.
I had one health visit who told me it was OK to stop when I had been breastfeeding for 5 weeks and going through sheer hell with it, she was the only person he made me feel it was ok 🙁
When I stopped it was wonderful to see my partner feeding my boy.
(Kudos for even blogging about it)
rachael mounteney recently posted..Separation Issues
Somebody dared to comment saying I was discouraging breastfeeding and that I was anti-breastfeeding… well what were the last 5 months then?! lol. I just laughed at that one and hit delete, because kind people like you have taken the time to comment and make me realise that I have done it for a while, I’m proud that I have and giving up is a conscious choice based on my babies’ needs. Thankyou for making me feel OK, like your Health Visitor did for you. xx
Great post, I tried to breast feed Thomas we were given support and lots of different positions none of which worked for us Thomas just wouldn’t latch on. I was in pain with my boobs and pain with my c’section and I was getting down about it. After over a week of trying we switched to bottle and Thomas loved and we were both happy again.
You have to do whats best for you and your baby at the end of the day and don’t listen to anybody else. I will try breastfeeding again with my next and hopefully it will go better next time.
Sarah recently posted..Yummy Mummy Training – A Weighty Issue
Thankyou for your comment. I only breastfed Bunny for 5 weeks, because my supply just couldn’t keep up with her demands. I chose to end breastfeeding with her because it was the best choice for her. and now I think after 5 months, bottle feeding is best for my twins. Just like you chose to do what was best for Thomas. Having a happy, healthy family surely has to be the most important thing?! xx
I have to admit, I am passionate about breastfeeding, and I did breastfeed my two kids into toddler hood, BUT I also am aware that the choices I make are not always what would work for someone else. It’s sad that so many people spend so much time ponitificating and judging what other’s do for their children. What you do with your babies, be it breast or bottle, is your choice. Not all of us Mum’s who are pro breastfeeding are bullies. I went through six months of hell first time round with my daughter, she had a bad latch, severe reflux, I had too much milk and a horribly fast let down, I had chronic thrush, ended up on IV antibiotics in hospital twice for severe mastitis, and it was miserable. We did stick at it, but at a huge cost. I struggled with PPD, and PPA, (mostly related to her birth, but breastfeeding hell and being made to feel guilty for wanting to stop, poor advice etc, made it worse) and we decided that if I had issues with breastfeeding next time, we wouldn’t hesitate to formula feed, for my sanity and for our whole families well-being. We did manage ok 2nd time round, but I would have made the same choice you are making, and it would have been the right one, if we’d needed to.
You are doing what’s right for you and YOUR babies. Don’t let anyone tell you different. If they’re happy and thriving, then you’re doing the right thing. As I said in my Tweet, I’d like for baby feeding to be better taught and supported, and the right information and help out there for all Mum’s, not this “breast is best” thing or the way we’re all pitted against each other for how we choose to feed.
Parenting is hard enough, we don’t need the extra guilt loaded on us.
I hope weaning fully to bottles goes smoothly, and you don’t feel sore or uncomfortable. That was the only thing I noticed for a good few days after we weaned, ibuprofen, a good support bra, warm showers all helped if you need them and sudofed can also help to dry you up and ease things.
I’m sorry to hear you had such a hard time. Huge respect to you for continuing. I always said if I got Mastitis I’d stop as I hear it is horrendously painful, but luckily i escaped getting it. I do know the feeling of too much milk and fast let down though! My babies always vomit after breastmilk too, but not so much with formula.
Weaning onto bottles should be easy as I’ve mix fed since 3 months and this last fortnight I have dropped my feeds to twice daily anyway.
Thankyou so much for commenting and for your lovely tweets. More people should think the way you do. xx
You should not feel bad or guilty over your decision to stop breastfeeding. I found it hard work just feeding one baby, so the fact you did it for 5 months with twins is amazing.
It is a personal decision to make and people trying to guilt mothers into breastfeeding at all or for a period of time they deem to be suitable doesn’t help anyone. It adds extra stress to an already tiring (but wonderful) time.
If we are trusted to care for our babies then we should be trusted to make all decisions relating to our families.
What works for one family doesn’t work for the next. A happy well cared for baby (or babies) should be the main priority for all.
You are not selfish in stopping and nor should anyone make you feel guilty. Be proud you fed twins for 5 months!
Thankyou for your lovely comment. I’m trying not to feel selfish, after all, the babies have lost interest in breastfeeding anyway. But it’s just apart of motherhood isn’t it. People criticise us and put pressure on us (like the ridiculous UNICEF thing out in the news right now) and it makes us doubt ourselves. I’m so grateful for all the people who have put really nice comments on here and on Twitter today as I’m feeling quite rubbish about it all. One commenter left a blatant attack on me for this post so I’ve removed their comment – Clearly they were one of the judgemental people who don’t respect that it is a personal decision.
Like you say… A happy, well cared for baby is the most important thing! xx
Wow. You have done amazingly. It always amazes me that anyone manages to breastfeed twins. I struggled hugely at the start with both my girls and mix-fed for a couple of months, then went on to breastfeed until they were just over two. The first stopped of her own accord, the second was helped by me. We stopped when we were ready. And everyone should have the right to stop when they are ready.
Personally, I do think support is needed and education, but totally agree that it is a choice that is ultimately down to the individual mother. As long as they do have all the information and they are provided with help to overcome problems, *if they want to*. I’m extremely grateful for the support I got with LaLa and I am very glad that I didn’t give up at that point, as I very nearly did. Because I know that I (me, not anyone else) would have been devastated. But I know others who were pressured into continuing and for whom this was detrimental. There’s a fine line between support and pressure in any area, but for some reason this one has become very contentious. Such a shame.
Good luck with stopping, but it sounds like it should go perfectly smoothly. And enjoy the added freedom that it brings. T xx
Tasha Goddard recently posted..Zoe & Beans: Hello Oscar! by Chloë & Mick Inkpen
Thankyou Tasha. The problem with most breastfeeding support currently available is that it is run by egotistical, opinionated people who don’t care to listen to your individual circumstances and don’t seem to understand that every womans body is different. Even on Twitter I found people who considered themselves breastfeeding experts to give totally terrible advice! I think its the quality of support available that needs to be changed. People should only be advising on it if they have a qualification or something. Someone with a social worker type mindset!
Thanks for your great comment. xx
Screw them!!!!! I breasted for a whole year and it killed me to stop Emma but she just wasn’t thriving! It was the right decision for us as a family and now we are happier a healthier then ever! Rise above them, they are clearly feeling guilty for lacking elsewhere in there life’s probably insecure! Xxxxx
Lol. I love your take on this Jodie! Screw them all! 🙂 xx
Also!!!! Sydney was the least breastfed baby of mine and she’s the only be without health problems skin conditions etc don’t dwell on this!!!! Concentrate on positive things in your life not the people who like to bring a down x
Get UNICEF and the “Elite Breastfeeders” to shove that one up their statistical asses!!! 🙂 xx
Well done for having the courage to admit that you are going to stop breastfeeding! It is such a difficult topic to discuss as most people are opinionated one way or the other. Yes I breastfeed but that is my personal choice. My sister bottle feeds and that is hers. I don’t judge others at all, if mother and baby are happy and healthy then why does it matter where they get their milk from? I agree with you that there is too much pressure to breastfeed. I breastfed my first son through severe tongue tie, poor latch, 3 bouts of mastitis, thrush etc etc because I felt that I had to! Did I get a medal for continuing to feed him although I was in tears it was so painful? No. As I have said before, it is a personal choice how you feed your baby. But I do think there should be better support for people who want to breastfeed (NB. want – not feel like they have to). I found great support in Huddersfield through breastfeeding cafes, groups, the Surestart centre etc etc. However, in North East Scotland where I currently live there is nothing! The internet is useful to a certain extent but nothing beats the advice of a lady who has been there, done that, understands your feelings and can physically help you when you need it.
Kudos for breastfeeding twins by the way!
p.s (I’m @sarahroberts85 on twitter)
Hey, Thanks for your comment. I think there is already a great deal of support for breastfeeders but it is ruined by those who inflict their opinion on people instead of trying to help them. And stupid reports like the latest UNICEF one – honestly where they get their figures I don’t know! Lack of promotion is possibly a downfall too but you only have to hit google to find loads of advice lines. I don’t know about other counties but I know in Gloucestershire, Dorset and Somerset, breastfeeding support is on the discharge list for midwives to discuss with mothers before they leave hospital. I think there should also be support for mothers for bottle feeding though. Where I live there are always people breastfeeding and Mothercare even has a breastfeeding lounge (which sadly I never got to use). I have breastfed in Starbucks, M&S and bang smack in the middle of Hyde Park in London during the Olympics, just to name a few. I think it’s sad that not all places are like this – or perhaps it’s just that I didn’t care who was watching?! Thanks for your great comment. xx
Hello, first of all well done on bf for as long as you did with the complications you had PLUS you did so for two babies.
Also, I can sa I felt the same when I gave up trying to bf (after only a few weeks) it’s horrid feeling useless because of other people’s opinions and I cried about it. A lot.
A brilliant blog and photos as always xx
Thankyou. Big hugs to you. I’ve cried about it today and this is the first day. I’m sure I will still be upset about it for a little while too. Thankyou for the compliments. xx
You have done so well- Its all about personal choice. Its great taht some mums can continue to breastfeed for years but that is simply not feasible for others. I had to stop at 6 months because I was returning to work. Some mothers may have been able to sustain breastfeeding through expressing etc but it just wasn’t feasible for me, expecially as my little boy was waking up every hour in the night to be breastfed. Give yourself a big pat onthe back!
Thankyou. I find that even with a great pump, expressing doesn’t produce as much milk as my babies would have gotten for themselves and I don’t think it stimulates supply as much either. Whilst it’s handy to do in the midst of breastfeeding, for a lot of people, expressing alone is not really a long term solution. xx
I was accused of being “extremely selfish” on a blog post I wrote once, simply because I never attempted breast feeding. I had my reasons – MY REASONS – and one in particular is a medical one. There will always be a strong divide on this subject but no one has a right to put pressure on a mother to breast feed, or bottle feed for that matter. It is a matter of choice. It’s no one else’s business, and people should reign themselves in and stop preaching to mums who haven’t tried breast feeding, thus making them feel like a failure, because frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.
Well done you, and this is a fantastic post.
CJ x
Crystal Jigsaw recently posted..Beauty at its Best
What a horrible thing for somebody to say to you! I hope you put them in their place. It really is sad when people try to make people think their choices are wrong, on such a personal and subjective topic. Thankyou for your kind comment. xx
You breastfed twins for five months! That’s excellent! I wouldn’t have even tried with twins after my Nan who had twins in the 50s told me that it was impossible!
I have to admit when I told my health visitor that I was giving up after six months because my milk wasn’t enough for Bear and he was still waking up every two hours at night that she was really supportive and told me to feel proud that I’d done it for that long because breastfeeding is hard work! This is what these people who push breastfeeding need to learn! If it’s not working, it’s hard work and you don’t enjoy it! Besides it just means you can give your babies more cuddles without feeling like a prize cow like I did!
Michelle Willis recently posted..He took me…
You are so right. It is hard work. My hubby says “all you do is sit there and cuddle them”, but it is tiring – they are taking most of your nutrition! lol. I would always encourage people who WANT to breastfeed to go ahead as breastmilk is really good for the baby(ies) and I have a lot of respect for people who manage to do it longer than me. “Support” should be about what is best for mum AND baby – like the support your health visitor gave you. Thanks for your kind comment. xx
I totally agree that so called ‘breastfeeding support’ is thinly veiled bullying. There’s so much pressure on mum’s today to be the ‘perfect’ mother. But to truly be the perfect mother you need to do what’s right for YOU and YOUR babies. No one can tell you what this is, only you can decide it… Be the best mother you can and trust your instincts; after all it’s what they’re there for!
Thankyou for a great comment. Well said. It’s a shame not all people can share this point of view. xx
I think you have done amazingly well! I only managed to feed my first for 24 hours, he then refused it point blank. With my second I persisted for a week, but didn’t have enough milk, he fed constantly but had lost a pound in weight after 6 days. Even the health visitor said I needed to start giving him a bottle. He was then combination fed, gave bottles at regular intervals, and topped up with breast milk whenever he wanted it. By 5 months old he just lost interest in breast feeding. Would have a couple of sucks then just smile and laugh at me. After a week of this I just stopped offering him it one day and he never complained, and hasn’t once tried to get to my boobs since, so think he was ready to stop. I would have loved to exclusively breast feed my children, but just couldn’t.
Thanks for commenting. I can see so much similarity in what you are saying and how my twins are behaving now. They really have lost interest in breast milk. Sometimes they just come straight off and cry for a bottle. They get SO excited when they see a bottle – the same way the USED TO get excited about having a nipple thrust in their face – but they don’t react the same to this anymore. It is SO adorable though when they come off the breast to smile at me! I will miss that, but I think there will be more smiles all around when I’m no longer breastfeeding. xx
Hi
I have also written (but a short post) on breastfeeding since the UNICEF report and the front pages. As I gave up a long time ago, I linked to my guest post that I had written back then. I had a very hard job with a tongue tie and low milk supply, but boy I could never ever have fed two babies.
You have done amazingly well and if it is the right time to stop for you and your babies then don’t feel guilty for stopping.
I hope writing this post made you feel better.
Sorry someone has made you cry – I hope it wasn’t on purpose.
Love,
Liska xx
Liska recently posted..The Guardian’s Yummy Mummy
Thankyou for your lovely comment. Yes writing this post, and the tremendous support from kind people like you, have made me feel much better. I will admit, I did try last night to breastfeed one of the girls, but she sunk her teeth in and it really hurt so I decided to stick with my decision. Please add your link to my comments so my readers (and me) can see it. Much love xx
Please never EVER feel guilty for deciding to stop breastfeeding. I’m in totally awe that you breastfed your beautiful twins for as long as you have. I stopped breast feeding B Lloyd when she was 10 months because she chose to stop. She would bite my nipple until I gave in and gave her a bottle at which point she would do as you are describing with your twins. She would get excited, smile eyes lit up. She no longer wanted to be snuggled down in my arms she wanted to be up and watching everything. I cannot stand the pressure some BF groups can put on women and no one should feel inadequate for BF or not, I’m so sorry to head you are upset but don’t listen to a word they say you are doing an amazing job!!!!
Thankyou so much for your comment. I really appreciate it. I completely get what you are saying about B. I feel that it is partly the twins decision too – not just mine. Thanks xx
Well done on having your say and probably leaving yourself open to flack from others. I wanted to breastfeed but found the whole experience horrendous and absolutely know the bullyng you refer to.
If you are doing your best as a Mum and love your children, that is fabulous.
Let the parenting police not trouble you. There are a lot of them and they all say different things.
Love from one Mum to another.
Kate on Thin Ice recently posted..This is the room – part 2
Thankyou for your kind comment. Love your term “The parenting police”. Thankfully they’ve backed off a little and I’ve only had 2 bullys respond to this post. One of which deleted her own comment, which made me smile. *reciprocating the mum-love* xx
Amazing post! and you go girl!! i wanted to breast feed and did for a few months with my children however after depression and other ailments it was the right choice for us for us to go onto bottle feeding. I was happy they were happy! the what other people think! x
Jaime Oliver recently posted..A Zumba..ing Hockey Good Time
Thankyou. I’ve come to the conclusion that is the only answer now… Both babies and mummies have to be happy, because one is not happy without the other. xx
Firstly hello, I’ve seen you leaving some coments on my blog posts but my stupid commenting system does nto lead me to yoru blog! But iv’e found you.
Secondly, grrrr! I’m so angry for you. B’fing twins is a whole different ball game especially when you have an older one to contend with. If you have doen it until 5 months then I bow down to you. That rocks!
If it feels right to stop then perfect, it is right! End of. Tell the nah sayers to piss off!
Mich x
michelle twin mum recently posted..Beautifully Different…… Yes all of us women
hehe. thanks. Loving the support from twin mummas backing my corner. You are right though, it is completely different breastfeeding twins to breastfeeding one baby. xx
Well done you, do not listen to anyone else you have done an amazing job through very hard times. You had twins as well for goodness sake. I agree with you, I gave up 3 wks ago. Things has changed for us & it didn’t work anymore. I agree that the support is bullying rather than really support. I do agree that breast is best, however like you didn’t manage to feed my first born & beat myself up so much I was getting down so made the call & never looked back. Do what’s best for your little family & delete any bullying comments & ignore. Look forward to the next part of your journey. Big hugs x
Thankyou for such a lovely, personal and supportive comment. *hugs back* xx
You have done so well. Ignore the people telling you to keep going. Enjoy the next stage in your journey. You have done so well. You have had twins for goodness sake.
Good for you! You are making the right choice for you and your babies. Five months is a long time to breastfeed twins. My friend’s twins are now 5 and she breastfed them for three months. The beestfeeding world has changed a lot in the last 10 years. When I had my eldest, who’s now 11, parents of singletons thought they deserved a medal if they made it to five months. I fed him for 10 months and the others for 15 and 16 months, but it wasn’t considered right or normal even six years ago when I had my daughter.
Great post. It’s awful that people feel they can criticise your decisions. It’s your choice and if they don’t like it they should shutup and stop reading!
Great comment. Thanks. You hear that haters? If you don’t like me… Shut your piehole!!! hehe. xx
Amazing that such a personal choice becomes such a vendetta for so many people! I felt the same way about the natural birth option – I ended up with an emergency c-section after trying my best to have a natural birth as expounded by my NCT teachers (drugs are bad! drugs are evil! yadda yadda), and felt horribly depressed for a year after at having “failed”. What crap. You’ve done an incredible job breastfeeding twins for 5 months (WOW – those pictures! Amazing!!). And frankly, even if you hadn’t – it’s your choice, and every one has to do what works for them, and no-one has any right to judge at all. So hang-em up with pride, and well done you for being sane and coups mentis enough to even be able to write a blog plus managing twins and a biggie! Go you!
Mama and More aka Zaz recently posted..Otherness
Thank you for that post & I’m sorry that the blogger made you feel so awful. I’ve also been in that position. When I was in hospital with Monkey for his jaundice I couldn’t produce enough breast milk to flush it away which meant his condition was getting worse & ended in light therapy. The midwives told me that I must not be latching him on right or not feeding him enough, even though my nipples were raw from the amount of time he was on them.
Then one day I broke down & we decided that combination feeding would be a better way to go & Monkey has flourished!! He goes on the boob first & if he hasn’t had enough he has a bottle.
5 months is brilliant, especially feeding twins, I couldn’t imagine it! Well done you for taking his step!
You have done absolutely brilliantly for breastfeeding your twins through such adversity. I am a breastfeeding peer supporter and I support women who want to breastfeed on our maternity ward and also in the support groups.
I want for women to be able to breastfeed for as long as THEY want are given the support they deserve to help them to do this.
The UNICEF report is really important and it wasn’t judging women who can’t or don’t want to breastfeed, it was highlighting the importance of good quality support which most women in the UK simply don’t get.
I write about breastfeeding in my blog and am still breastfeeding my 18mth old. That is my choice and it comes partly from being given awful advice the first time round which saw me having to stop breastfeeding my oldest before either of us were ready. Breastfeeding promotion doesn’t make me feel guilty for giving my son formula as it was the best option at the time with the knowledge I had then. I have reconciled the fact that I could have carried on if I’d had known different by giving my support to Mums to hopefully make sure they don’t suffer the way I did when we were forced to stop.
I totally agree that breastfeeding at all or for however long is a personal choice but we need to support women in their choices and formula companies are giving mis-information in their advertising and taking away free choice which is my bug bear.
Kate Buckley recently posted..Mummy Mugshot #1 – Kisses
Thanks for commenting. I guess I must be lucky for living in an area of Britain where breastfeeding is seen as normal and there are huge amounts of support for mothers breastfeeding. In fact I’d go as far as to say “pressure” instead of “support”. I haven’t been anywhere where this isn’t so, so I assumed this was normal everywhere. If it isn’t then perhaps it should be?
I can’t say I agree with your point about formula companies as all formula advertising I have seen have actively promoted breastfeeding at the beginning of their adverts. I certainly don’t think they take away anyones choice. It’s only advertising at the end of the day.
I found the UNICEF report upsetting as I read it at a time when I was planning to stop breastfeeding and the report made me feel that I was a bad mother for doing so. I’m sure they don’t intend to make bottle feeding mothers feel inferior, but that’s how it feels, having read it. Especially as I did breastfeed for such a long time prior to my decision to stop.
Formula companies aside, I agree with everything in your comment and it sounds like you probably make a fantastic peer supporter having seen both sides of the coin and understanding that choice should replace guilt. Thankyou for taking the time to leave such a well thought out and helpful comment. xx
Aaww, thank you. I try to support with integrity and don’t place any pressure on my Mums, they do enough of that themselves. I can completely understand that as it isn’t an easy decision to stop breastfeeding the report release probably made it harder for you. There are so many things we parents are made to feel guilty about I’m glad you have made a decision you are happy with and as there are over 3 million germ fighting cells in each teaspoon of breastmilk, think how much you have benefitted all three of your children 🙂 xxx
Kate Buckley recently posted..Mummy Mugshot #1 – Kisses
I have so much respect for you BF TWINS for the amount of time you did, plus you battled through illness too.
You’re completely right with the “Bullying” aspect of it, when I had my daughter I was determined to BF, but she couldn’t, it wasn’t anything I was doing, she simply couldn’t do it as the drugs from the birth effected her too much and in fact I had to express for a few days and the nurses force fed her.
During this time I was absolutely heart broken, it was all I wanted to do, give my daughter what I thought was the best start to life, and instead of supporting me the nurses made me feel as if it was MY fault (baring in mind it was the hospital that gave me too much drugs to begin with) I was told the same thing about how milk doesn’t run out, only it did almost as soon as we was home from the hospital. My daughter wasn’t satisfied with breast so I made the decision to turn to FF.
I believe this decision was the best one for BOTH of us. I wasn’t upset and worried she wasn’t getting enough milk and she was fully satisfied.
Months later after I had joined twitter and wordpress, I was also told that I was selfish and lazy and that I’m a bad mum for not breast feeding. This woman is a bully in herself as I know (and a lot of other people have saw in the last few months), but I’ve saw how many more mothers do the same thing, judge and belittle others for making a different decision to them. It’s wrong.
We should all be here to support each other and help each other through these tough times.
I Hope FF worked out nicely for you, you’re a strong woman! xx
mummytoamonsterxo recently posted..An idea for crafty mums
Thankyou for such a lovely, thoughtful and heartfelt comment. I’m glad you have shared your story with me and you are so very right – we should all be here to support each other. It’s blogging and Twitter that have taught me to be more open minded, less opinionated and not to judge people who have different opinions to my own – it’s a shame that it hasn’t had the same effect on everyone. xx
Twitter and blogging has really helped me through it, and actually a lot of aspects of parenting, the strange sleep patterns my daughter has and the tantrums haha.
It is a shame, yes, but I guess sometimes people are just quite nasty and maybe don’t want to be open minded xx
mummytoamonsterxo recently posted..An idea for crafty mums
Well said. Apparently we have the right to choose as long as we choose to breast feed. BTW well done on 5 months I’ve never made it that far hoping to do it this time or further. 15 weeks today!!
I know it’s old but good for you. I’m not planning on breastfeeding because it’s inconvenient ( the leaky boobs, the rotting milk smell, the boob pads, the sore nips) and I work a full time job and I want to be able to exercise. I can already hear the crap I’m going to get from the boob nazis. Well it’s my body my choice- you just mind your own business people and stay out of others!
Thanks for posting this blog. I had twins 6 weeks ago & have been thinking about stopping breastfeeding. It just takes up so much time. My boobs are always sore & leak a lot too. I also have a 9 yr old & 2 yr old to take care of & I’ll be going back to school soon for about 5 hrs a day to get my CNA. Plus my twins always seem hungry right after breastfeeding but if I give them formula their satisfied. I have been thinking it’s best for my family for me to just stop but after reading some others post I am now having 2nd thoughts. This blog however makes me feel much better, so thank you!