Reflections on 2012 and Resolutions for 2013

2012 was both an exciting, but tremendously difficult year for us.

(please note: all coloured writing in this post will take you to a blog post explaining what I am talking about, if you click on it.)

We were launched into the year being unwittingly dropped onto the poverty line, as I explained in my post about the World’s Worst Boss (our boss!). If it hadn’t been for my student loan, I don’t know how we’d have gotten through. But we did. We survived.

My pregnancy got difficult around February when my SPD set in and I could barely walk. Then came the accident and almost instantly after, I developed Pre-Eclampsia. I got more and more poorly until I ended up in hospital begging for early induction, which it turned out, saved mine and my babies lives. After a difficult induction, a long labour and a double forceps birth, the twins were born low birth weight and more premature than we had expected. It wasn’t until after their birth we discovered they had stopped growing at 32 weeks of pregnancy, as I had actually developed HELLP Syndrome. The twins were fine and very beautiful, but I nearly died. I was receiving intensive care in the Maternity High Dependency Unit as they thought that both I and the babies would deteriorate if we were seperated. I spent a traumatic ten days in hospital in which I won the battle against my liver and kidneys failing, and a further eight weeks at home waiting for my liver to recover and function fully again.

The twins had a brief spell in Neonatal at only 5 days old, but it’s a miracle in itself that they were born healthy and well as my HELLP Syndrome could well have killed them. We are the luckiest parents alive to be blessed with our beautiful twins and that they recovered so quickly. I remember how dark that time was though and I blogged about being in despair, and needing a prayer or two to get us through. Then once we did get through, the whole ordeal gave me a new take on religion.

And then 5 weeks later, I haemorrhaged badly and was urgently hospitalised again. It turns out I was still carrying a piece of the twins placenta and had to have an ERPC (a D&C) to remove it.

This birth was more traumatic than I can put into words and even now, my oldest daughter, myself and my husband are sometimes struggling to get over it.

I didn’t blog about it for his privacy, but my father was also diagnosed with Cancer very recently, but I am most certain that he is going to kick Cancer’s ass in 2013!

In addition to that, my mum’s dog, Misty, whom I had lived with and loved since Primary school, passed away at the end of 2012 too.

Whilst there were a lot of trials in 2012, we are still standing and have so much to be thankful for.

I always try to see the positive in everything. I know from experience that things can always get worse and there is always someone worse off than you, so no matter how bad things are, it’s important to stay strong. My thoughts on our situation is that despite all of those emotional mountains we have been forced to climb, we are the luckiest people alive.

Despite everything, we have everything we could ever dream of. A beautiful home, a happy marriage and three beautiful children (and an overly affectionate cat!). We always make sure the children come first, the girls have everything they need and are incredibly happy children.

We have budgeted for 2013 and whilst there wont be holidays, we will be debt free by the end of the year. Due to lack of funds, 2012 has taught us more about family values. There is nothing I like more than cuddling up on the sofa with my husband and our three girls and having cuddles. We don’t need money to have fun.

2012 has been magical because I gave birth to two more amazing daughters, we celebrated our first wedding anniversary, I started my blog, found friendship and support in the unlikeliest of places, I cemented old friendships and became a better person – the person I want to be. I’m now chilled out, kind and non-judgemental, as opposed to the nagging, opinionated, cynical bitch I was in 2011. I’m a more relaxed parent, whilst I’m still strict, I don’t sweat the small things anymore.

So… my new year’s resolutions…

1. Become debt free – including overdrafts. Maybe even save some money.

2. Be more frugal and try to teach the Jonny to be more frugal too.

3. Try to get Bunny to school BEFORE the whistle blows (I think this only happened twice in the last year).

4. Declutter – We still have the odd cupboard or two (including my entire wardrobe) which haven’t been unpacked sorted out since we moved here (14 months ago)!

5. Start my own business (or two!)

6. Continue growing, learning and improving the person I am. That includes sharing myself in my blog, helping others, doing what I can to raise awareness of good causes, being an honest, non-judgemental person who keeps MOST of her negative or contraversial opinions quiet, and above all, making my amazing little family happy.

In 2012 I started this blog and would like to say a heartfelt thank you to all my wonderful readers and those I chat to on Twitter too. I hope you will all stick with me for 2013 (you can subscribe too if you like – it’s free!!! *hints*).

HAPPY NEW YEAR to all of you. May 2013 bring us all Health, Love and Happiness (a little wealth might be nice too – as long as that’s not asking too much?!)

x x x