SPD vs The Spider!

SPD…

So I’ve mentioned in several posts about having SPD but I don’t think I’ve really explained what it is…

Technically speaking, it was explained to me like this…
When pregnant your body produces a lot of the hormone “Relaxin”, which softens your muscles to make way for all the changes in your body that occur during pregnancy, including labour and carrying your baby for 9 months. However sometimes you produce too much Relaxin and it causes your pelvis to soften so much it misaligns under the weight of the baby. So in a twin pregnancy this is even more common as you are producing more than twice the hormone levels and bearing twice the weight. Anyway, this misaligned pelvis causes your “Symphis Pubis” (pubic bones) to grind against each other causing a great deal of pain throughout your entire pelvis. This pain is aggravated by walking, climbing stairs, carrying weighty items etc.

I first felt this pain at about 20 weeks when I was walking and suddenly felt major cramping in my lower abdomen. This pain suddenly worsened so that within minutes I couldn’t walk and the pain spread throughout my tummy, pelvis and pubic region. It was particularly annoying because I was on my babymoon/birthday/valentines weekend in London with hubby. Needless to say we had to tube and bus even the shortest distances for the whole weekend because I just couldnt walk.

As the weeks went by, my SPD got significantly worse and now I no longer leave the house on foot unless I have to or am desperate! I saw a physiotherapist who did this miracle thing where she pretty much hugged my legs and the pain was instantly releived… but it wasnt very practical as I can’t exactly go to hospital every day to have my legs hugged by genius lady. She told me to buy a gym ball (75cm at least as I have long legs) and to sit and gently bounce, rock or swivel on it everyday (minimum 10 mins but as long as possible). Apparently due to sitting on a ball requiring balance, it encourages you to use the tummy muscles that by now your body has long given up on. By using your tummy muscles you are taking the pressure off your pelvis. Well I think it works a bit for general getting around the house, but doesnt work wonders well enough to stroll to the shops. Apparently sitting on the ball also works out your pelvic floor so that saves me having to remember to do those exercises.

Physio also taught me the best position to sleep in to support your pelvis; it involves about 6 pillows! However I tried this and woke up in agony the following morning with horrendous back pain. I tried it numerous times and each time woke up with back pain so I gave that method up. They also gave me a REALLY SEXY belt to wear. When I say really sexy… I am being incredibly sarcastic. It’s basically a giant tubey grip. But giant is also an exaggeration – it’s so small it cuts off the circulation! I’d try it on for a photo but I actually can’t get it on anymore. Here’s a picture of it in comparison with my hand! (Now remember I have to get this around my hips and the underside of my enormous bump! The opening is the bit my hand is in – it then gets folded to four thicknesses!)…

So needless to say I don’t wear it. I tried it once in town and genuinely felt that my legs had been disjointed from my torso.

My pelvis now thinks it is competing on TV against Britains Strongest Man and my bladder thinks it’s on Jeremy Kyle. As for my pubic bone… well that thinks it’s been on that awful boxing programme that hubby watches… WWsomething???

I think I mentioned once before, that for me, having SPD makes me walk as though I’ve sharted. Hubby finds me hilarous to watch (despite my pain). If I could have predicted getting this ailment I’m sure I’d have requested a zimmer frame, mobility scooter and a Stannah Stairlift for my birthday. When I get up out of a seat I cease up and have to waddle in a half seated position like a Jockey who hasnt got off his horse in a week.

THE SPIDER…

Last night I saw a spider on the wall in my living room. It wasnt by any means HUGE but it wasnt a money spider either. It’s one of those that puts you on edge, makes you itch and you just cant relax knowing its there. My normal tact for spiders is one of the following two options:
a) I get the long hose of the hoover and suck the B*****d up from a safe distance
b) I throw a pint glass over it, stick a note on it and leave it for hubby to remove when he gets home

However on this occasion the 7 legged freak (no i don’t know what happened to its 8th leg!) appeared to laughing at me as the hoover is currently on the 2nd floor of our house and he wasnt in a position to have a glass put over him. Its almost as though he knew that with my SPD there’s no way in the world I could lug a hoover down two flights of stairs. Thankfully due to Aliyas birthday there are still random packaging materials scattered around the house so I managed to find a metre long piece of cardboard with a flat end and that little F***er is now smeared into a dotted line up my magnolia wall.

Little did I know that the hideous creature has relatives living nearby… sitting on the toilet I look up to see 7-legged-freak’s uncle, who is slightly larger and still has all 8 of his legs. 8-legger is just dangling from his cleverly spun spindle next to the sink. Now clearly I can’t just up and leave mid-pee, so I sit staring at him to make sure he doesnt move. The problem with staring at a spider when you’re a bit of an arachnaphobe is that then, when you close your eyes, you can still see him. Also if you stare at it long enough, your mind will play tricks on you and you will start thinking its moving when it isnt!

So now I face the dilemma… Do I avoid my downstairs loo until the unwelcome resident is evicted by hubby later tonight? Which means bullying my poor pelvis and hobbling upstairs to a different bathroom. OR do I chance it and hope that he wont make a run for me when I’m in there? And does he have anymore relatives hiding in my house?

xxx 🙂