You’ve all heard of baby-led weaning, you may have heard about baby-led potty training (but the less said about that, the better I think), but I’m going to tell you about toddler-led potty training.
I know, I know, I said I never wanted to be one of those mothers than talks about wee, poo and nappies, so I’ll try to get it all out in this one post. Excuse the pun.
My twins, have a developmental delay, due to the fact they stopped growing in the womb at 32 weeks and were born premature with a low birth weight. This was down to me having a rare but serious condition in pregnancy, called HELLP Syndrome. I wasn’t diagnosed until 36 weeks, when the twins were born, and the pair of them (and me) were very lucky to survive at all. I knew they would have approximately an 8 week developmental delay and I wasn’t too concerned when this turned out to be more like a 3 month delay. They were late meeting all their NHS milestones, but I wasn’t bothered. I knew my babies would catch up in their own time. I was in no hurry to rush them.
So when the idea of potty training came up, I got two chair-style potty’s from a kind lady at twins club, put them in the corner of the living room and left them there for a few months. That was it. I didn’t do anything else.
The twins are now 2 years and 9 months old. They are still behind on their speech, but they seem to be rapidly catching up on their other milestones. The NHS milestones for potty training are actually very reasonable and potty training is listed as being from 1.5 years old to 4 years old. So we are by no means, in a place to worry about this milestone yet, although it would be nice to save money on nappies.
Bunny potty trained the week she turned two. It took us 3 days, to go from nappy, to potty, to toilet, as we used the Gina Ford book about potty training in one week. Bunny was a fast learner and she got it in three days. I wasn’t so sure when the twins would be ready, but I did think it would be nice if we could get them potty trained before they turn 3 years old. They recently started nursery and we wondered if they might copy some of the potty-trained children there.
So when we go to the toilet, we tell the twins where we are going. When we change their nappies, we point to them and tell them if they have done wee or poo. The twins aren’t very vocal yet, they only say a few words and we wanted to test their understanding and see if they know the difference between those two bodily functions and find out if they are aware of when they do either one in their nappy.
As we are in no hurry and we want to be sure the girls are ready, rather than potty train them, we thought we’d wait and let them potty-train themselves. Sounds crazy maybe?
Well last week, quite randomly, Fluffy whipped off her nappy, sat on the potty and did a wee.
We praised her, showed her what she had done, told her she was a clever girl and gave her a clap. Her beaming smile showed us how proud she was of herself and she clapped too, which showed us she understood.
Yesterday and today, the twins have whipped off their nappies and weed only in their potty’s. Both of them.
One of them, also dropped a solid (I hate the word poo) into her potty. Unfortunately I don’t know which one as I was clearing away the lunch plates when they did it. When I came back in, I asked who did it and they both put up their hands. Not only had they used the potty, but they had used a baby wipe, to wipe their own bottom, so I had no evidence to work out who it was. So… I just told them they were both clever and gave them both a clap. They both beamed with pride over the turd that one of them had done.
So what next? Well… I’ll let them decide. This has begun as toddler-led potty training and so it may as well continue to be led by them. Once they’ve been doing this a few days, we’ll try going out with big girl pants on and see what happens. I’m not sure they’d tell me they need to go, without a potty in front of them, but we are going to take this at their pace, not ours. I think they’ll nail it before their 3rd birthday!
Wow that is so good. Well done them. I hate nhs milestones. I think many parents who have kids with delay do. I suppose it is just a guide but sometimes it gets shoved in your face. Thanks for linking up with #MaternityMondays
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Laura @ Life with Baby Kicks says
Ooh congratulations! I did laugh over the shared joy over the turD!
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Lindsay @ Newcastle Family Life says
I will soon be potty training my daughter when she turns two and i think i am going to do the toddler led way as that is what i done with oldest. I am sure by the sounds of things they will both be potty trained by there third birthday x #MummyMondays
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Jenny @ The Brick Castle says
I agree with you, it’s not nuts at all. The best way to potty train any child is to not stress about it. While it’s just blah it’s easy, but make it pressured, stressful and hard and you can have a hell of a job. Best of luck that they both keep it up and you can start saving a fortune!
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Sarah MumofThree World says
That’s brilliant, what clever girls! I love that they even wiped their own bums 🙂
Both my younger two did it in their own time – it was so much easier than forcing it! They were both much younger than their stubborn big brother when they cracked it.
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Caroline (Becoming a SAHM) says
Oh yay for them! Monkey is the same age and although I would love for him to be potty trained i know he isn;t really ready yet. We tried once (for 24 hours, it just wasn’t happening) and we talk about going for wees and poos in the toilet but he does not want to lose the nappies yet. Our hope is that one day he will want to, just as yours seem to now, as we don;t want it to be a traumatic process! Glad this is going well! xx Thanks for linking with #MaternityMondays
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Alice Young says
What a great process, letting them lead the way!! I’m dreading potty training Amelia. It’s hard to not get caught up in milestone deadlines, but like you said they all do it and catch up when they are ready. Thanks so much for linking up hope to see you again tomorrow!! #MummyMonday xx
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