I’m thrilled to announce that one of my blog idols, “Trouble Doubled” (Yes another Twin Mummy) has written a guest post for me (Thankyou muchly). I feel honoured to have my blog graced with her words. I love her sense of humour and her take on all things twin, and I’m sure you will too… Here’s Trouble’s mum…
So, I’m twenty months in to this twin-mum thing and I don’t seem to be getting any more tolerant of the stupid questions. For those who don’t have multiples, you may not understand. Basically, when you have twins or more, complete strangers suddenly think it’s acceptable to come and chat to you and ask questions that wouldn’t be asked of parents of singletons.
I am not only asked the age-old – ‘are they twins?’, even when they are wearing identical suits, are exactly the same size, and look 99% the same, but I am also asked if they were conceived through IVF, or if there is twins in the family. Parents of singletons are not asked these questions, but somehow people you’ve never seen in your life before decide that it’s appropriate to ask them of multiple-parents, just because they’ve managed to squeeze out more than one at a time.
I am getting tired of the phrase – ‘double trouble!’ – (as hypocritical as this may sound), and of having people block my path so they can stop and stare. Luckily, the twins are used to it and are seemingly tolerant. Me, less so. I know it sounds mean and I do try and give some time to the nice old ladies who only want to wish us well (even though it does mean it takes me twice as long to get anywhere), and I understand that the sight of two little cherubic, pigtailed girls in little pink coats may brighten up their otherwise lonely day no end. I do try, honest. But while it may be the first time that week that someone else has seen and coo-ed over some twins, it may be the fifth time in just that shopping trip that I have had someone stop me. When my frozen chips and Viennetta (so sue me) are melting away in the trolley, the last thing I want to do is stop and answer a question about the science behind twin-genetics from someone I don’t know. At least when the checkout assistants ask the same questions, I can answer them while bagging up the multipack of crisps and much-needed cans of full-fat coke. Multi-tasking I can do.
But my favourite all time conversations go like this –
Random stranger: “Oh twins, lovely! I bet they’re a handful, are you going to stop there then?”
Me: “ Yes, that’s it for me.” (Not that it’s any of your business I would like to add, but I don’t)
Random stranger: “Oh, good! You don’t want to be having more than two, do you? That would be mental.”
“No, that’s true”, I reply “not with another two children at home already. Anything else you’d like to probe me about?”
So, if you see a mum of twins about, maybe looking harassed or a bit fed-up with it all, please don’t ask questions you wouldn’t ask of any other parents. And please, please try not to call the mum ‘mental’. She might go all multi-tasking on your ass, and you really don’t want to see that.
Trouble Doubled is an anonymous blog by a harassed mother of four girls of 8, 5 and twin toddlers. If you loved this post, you can visit her blog here.
I love this post! I have a very similar reaction! With us it’s two 14 month old boys! Most shocking questions you get are ‘are they ill or why are they so small and thin?’ And you then have to say for the hundreds time they were immensely premature, they spent the first 3 months in hospital. Then you get even more insensitive questions!
That’s awful that someone would say that. I’ve had people comment “they’re tiny” before, or ask if they were prem, but not actually ask if they are ill! I love hearing about twin parents answers to insensitive or silly questions so will be doing a similar post to this myself sometime soon. Trouble Doubled is an absolute legend of a blogger. xx
Troubles Mum says
A legend not even in my own living room, but thanks anyway!!
Thanks for your comments. Always nice to hear from other twin parents even if it’s just so I don’t feel like it’s only me that’s a grumpy old moo.
Troubles Mum recently posted..Why I love my twins group.
love this!!!! I don’t get questioned as much now that they’re two and a half years but when they were tiny babies I did. people say ” ooh double trouble” me: no, double everything! one comment/ question that stands out is when one lady probed and probed to find out if I’d had fertility treatment – when I said that I had she said ” oh dear…..whose fault was it?!!!!! speechless isn’t the word!
WOW! Shocking! That’s an awful thing for someone to say! I think that would have rendered me speechless! Xx