Today I go into hospital, into the isolation unit for anywhere between 3 - 6 days for my internal radiotherapy. Then the agonising wait for the radiation to leave my body to a safe level before I can go within 2 metres of my husband and children. This could be anything up to a month for the twins, as they are so young.
I am very very closely bonded with my children, so to not be able to cuddle them, for such a long time, is soul destroying. But I don't have a choice as I need to fight my thyroid cancer.
So this week's Wednesday Words - whilst not very intelligent or technical poetry, is straight from the heart, in a simplistic style, from me to my children...
Mummy has to go away
To my dear sweet Bunny;
Mummy has to go away.
To nuke her Cancer in hospital,
So we'll have many more years to play.
You'll be at school counting,
writing, learning, singing a song.
Mummy will be counting minutes,
That will feel like hours' long.
This treatment will make Mummy better,
You will have Daddy here,
Hug our teddy when you miss me,
It'll feel as though I am near.
To my darling little twins,
You're too little to understand,
Why Mummy can't respond to "MaMa",
Change your nappy, kiss your hand.
It'll break my heart to see you,
Unable to answer your cry.
Mummy is radioactive, rendered useless,
With a tear (or many) in her eye.
You'll carry on pulling each others hair,
Learning how far you can crawl.
Yoghurt on your cheeky faces,
Covering daddy in drool.
I love you my dear sweet children,
To be parted hurts me inside,
But I won't be Cancer's victim,
I must fight, not run and hide.
© Emma Day www.crazywithtwins.com
PS. To my incredible husband, my rock and my very best friend - I will miss you also, but next week's Wednesday Words is just for you! 😉 Take care of our three gorgeous babies, I'll see you in a few days. xxx
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Sarah & Stuart says
So very heart-felt and touching. Of course no words can assist you with your fight, but rest assured the thoughts of so many are with you and your family today and everyone is backing you to get through this. We don’t know you, but from your blog alone it’s clear you’re a wonderful, strong wife and mother. Best of luck Emma!
Julie early says
Oh my lovely girl you can do this,you are so very brave and courageous….I will be thinking of you every day and praying for the time you can cuddle your lovely babies ….stay strong girl you can do it xxxxxx
Firefly Phil says
Emma, that is a beautiful poem. And your fight has sounded a wake-up call across the blogging community. We will be watching – and counting. All the best! [salutes]
Firefly Phil recently posted..Shoulder to Shoulder to Day: Day One – The Other Side of the Line
Sarah MumofThree World says
Emma that is so beautiful. I’m shedding more tears for you and your girls. I hope the time goes as quickly as possible for you. X
Sarah MumofThree World recently posted..Broken lion
Thinking of you and your family today. Can’t imagine how difficult this is. Stay strong you can do this. Sending lots of hugs xx
Verily Victoria Vocalises says
I am sitting here with tears in my eyes. This is beautiful Emma. You are so brave and as promised Emma’s Army of bloggers will be right here for you giving you as much support as we can xx
Verily Victoria Vocalises recently posted..Shoulder to Shoulder to Day – It’s The Way I Tell ‘Em! 😉
Thats a lovely poem for your family, hoping everything goes well and you’re home with them sooner rather than later x
Mummymakescakes recently posted..Alphabakes: K is for Knotted White Loaf
There are no words
((((((big squishy hugs))))))))
Pinkoddy recently posted..Competitive Family #50things #MotivationalMonday #mwactive
Sarah Reid says
Thinking of you Emma. I love this poem. Fingers crossed you will have your babies in your arms sooner than you think. Xx
Sarah Reid recently posted..Wednesday Words
michaela britton says
So heartfelt, I have tears in my eyes. Hope everything goes ok xx
michaela britton recently posted..Never Again…
Wishng you all the love in the world. Stay strong, it will so be worth it x
Very moved to read your poignant poem, and will be thinking of you, and wishing you continued courage and energy for the weeks ahead … Warm regards, alexa
such a beautiful poem, thinking of you and your family xx
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Helen Braid says
Beautiful words Emma – and what a heartbreaking wait. You are such a strong lady – you are going to give your children and hubby the biggest hug ever when this is all over!! Love to you x
Helen Braid recently posted..One Year Ago
Just beautiful, brave lady. We are all with you in spirit, right by your side. Keep strong. xx
Dragonsflypoppy recently posted..The Lone Stranger – Flash Fiction
Mum of Zone says
Thinking of you today x
Mum of Zone recently posted..Mondays Parenting Pin-It Party!
Downs Side Up says
I just popped over from the BiBs finalists page to visit and then read this post. I am sending love and strong thoughts for you and your family. Your words are beautiful, I have tears in my eyes.
Downs Side Up recently posted..Let’s Pull Together and celebrate our children
Monika aka MumontheBrink says
You kick that cancer in the butt please! Radiate it out all the way to far outer space, so you can hold, kiss and smother those kiddies of yours for many many years to come! Hugs and kisses!
Monika aka MumontheBrink recently posted..First shoes
oneo ff ordinary says
In November 2011 I spent 10 days in hospital having a grapefruit sized tumour removed. I was lucky it was benign although with a high chance of regrowth. My boys were 3 and just turned 1, I was still breastfeeding my littlest. It broke my heart. Hardest was the following 3 months when I was home but couldn’t lift or cuddle them because of the 10cm healing incision point and the fact that 50% of my small intestines were removed. Watching them go to someone else to be comforted was so painful.
I’m still here, awaiting the results of my 18 months post surgery scan. The boys don’t remember me being gone, but I don’t think I’ll ever stop worrying about being apart from them in future.
Sending you massive hugs and all my best wishes.
Chelsea Williams says
you can do this, lovely poem. Huge loves xxxxxx
Chelsea Williams recently posted..The Life Behind My Eyes
Thinking of you as you have to leave the kids. I have one one year old and know it would be harder to leave her as I couldn’t explain so well to her.
Wishing you all the best for the treatment and I know the kids will be fine in good hands…but I know they will be even happier once they are all back in their mother’ arms.
PS. We are Butterfly Buddies: I have the same ones on my header and lots of pics too! 🙂
Claire recently posted..Mark Warner Active Family Week 3: Get Sporty
Rollercoaster Mum says
I have only just come across your story (via Pinkoddy) and I just wanted to wish you all the luck in the world. You are a very brave lady. I hope you get to hug your babies close as soon as possible xx
Rollercoaster Mum recently posted..Macro Monday – all about herbs
Emily Tealady says
Such a lovely poem. Everyday now is a day closer to being with your little ones xx
Such a beautiful poem and such a brave strong mummy. Thinking of you as you spend this difficult time separated from your loved ones x
BakedPotatoMummy recently posted..Silent Sunday – 19.05.2013
I hate being apart from my children, I can’t imagine having to be separated for so long. I hope that in the years to come your children can read this poem and look back on that time as actually quite short in the scheme of things, and that they will feel grateful that you did it and could spend many many more years with them as a result. x
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Mummy Whisperer says
This is such a terribly awful thing to have to do.
BUT I’m so chuffed to hear the fight in your voice. KEEP IT going – and if you ever get down, tell us and we will kick it back into you.
I’m honoured to be included in the fresh five with you for the Tots100 this week. If there is anything I can do to help over the next month, you can always find me on twitter – just a tweet away – you never know, I’m pretty good in a bad situation sometimes.
Mama Syder says
Such a beautiful post. I admire your strength and courage and I hope you are cuddling your babies real soon, Lots of Love xxx
Mama Syder recently posted..Silent Sunday
gracefoster (@fostergrace) says
Such beautiful words and what a hard time for you. Crazy isn”t it how we always long for a bit of space away from our babies but never in the situation you have found yourself. Be strong and you’ll be back with them soon xxxx
gracefoster (@fostergrace) recently posted..Flowers for Forty